IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You work for an entertainment company which plans to open a new theatre soon. You want to invite a famous actor to open the new theatre. Write a letter to this famous actor. In your letter - give some information about the new theatre - invite her/him to open the new theatre - explain why she/he would be a good person to open the theatre Dear ______________ ,

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Dear Mr Smart, I am... ..., the manager of K
entertainment company
Capitalize the proper name
Entertainment Company
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. I am writing to invite you to the new theatre we are going to open soon. The new theatre is
buiit
Correct your spelling
built
 for both new
actor
Fix the agreement mistake
actors
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 and
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
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 who are talented but have not
given
Verb problem
been given
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 any opportunities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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public
Correct article usage
the public
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 who would like to enjoy new cultural experiences. The famous architect Mr
oh
Capitalize the proper name
Oh
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 drew
this
Linking Words
 building
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 a variety of people from different fields joined
to
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 project to be completed.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 newly built theatre is going to open on 17 March. I was wondering if you could come and join
to
Change preposition
apply
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the new start of it. I understand you are very hectic with a lot of schedules
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it would be greatly appreciated if you could come and congratulate
this
Linking Words
 new start. It will be
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 meaningful time for not only you but
also
Linking Words
 audiences who know
you
Correct determiner usage
your
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 effort as you have been
funderising
Correct your spelling
fundraising
 for some
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
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 that suffer from
finance
Replace the word
financial
 issues but
pass the
Verb problem
provide
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 cultural services
over
Change preposition
apply
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. I hope you can come and enjoy
together
Correct word order
this opening together
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this
Linking Words
 openning. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Regards,

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task response
Give more clear facts about the theatre, such as its place, size, and what will happen on opening day.
task response
Make the invite more clear. Say the time, place, and what you want Mr Smart to do, for example cut a ribbon or give a short talk.
task response
Explain more clearly why he is the right person. Link his work for arts groups to the aim of the new theatre.
task response
Keep a formal tone. Use phrases such as “I would be grateful if you could attend” instead of “come and join to the new start.”
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, main part, and end. Put the theatre facts in one part, the invite in the next, and the reason for choosing him in another.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words, such as “In addition”, “Therefore”, and “For this reason”, to show how your ideas are linked.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences are hard to follow. Break them into two short sentences, especially the part about his work for groups with money problems.
coherence and cohesion
Use a full closing with your name after “Yours sincerely,” or “Yours faithfully,”.
task response
You include the opening date and explain that the theatre will help new actors and musicians.
task response
You give a real reason for inviting Mr Smart: his work to help groups in need.
coherence and cohesion
The letter uses clear paragraphs for the theatre, the invite, and the final request.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and ending are polite and fit a formal letter.
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