Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? It is true that online courses are becoming a common feature of university education.

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Introduction
Since the Internet and digital technology
developed
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have developed
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,
there are
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apply
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a large number of
universities
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share their
courses
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online.
This
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leads to
people
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who do not belong to the schools
can
Wrong verb form
being able to
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get the
knowlege
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knowledge
easily. I think
this
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phenomenon is a good trend in
present
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the present
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society
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.
Body paragraph 1
These days, some
people
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are not willing to study
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instead
Correct word choice
but instead
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of working
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work
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.
This
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is because studying in the
shcools
Correct your spelling
schools
means they need to give up their jobs, but they have to earn money to live. If they can access the learning resources online, they will learn anywhere they want,
such
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as their offices or homes. For individuals, studying online lessons is beneficial for them to improve their learning ability. Whatever
people
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do, they should show their abilities to
jusity
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justify
that they have the competency to do the work. Keeping the learning ability is a good way to work well. As
people
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leave
schools
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school
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for a long time, they just hold the previous and old
knowlege
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knowledge
.
However
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, the
society
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is developing
which
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, which
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means sometimes their knowledge
are
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is
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not related to present development. For
this
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, online
courses
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not only solve the location
poblems
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problems
but
also
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help broaden the horizonal views.
This
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can
also
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have a good effect on the whole
society
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. The more
people
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learn, the better
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
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atmosphere the community can get.
Body paragraph 2
According to
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university education, providing online
courses
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is a common trend.
This
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is because the online
courses
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are flexible for both teachers and students.
For example
Linking Words
, if the
whether
Use the right word
weather
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is not
well
Correct word choice
good
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, the
univisities
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universities
may not quit the learning process, they can give students online resources or through
the
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apply
show examples
online platforms to teach and learn.
Furthermore
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,
good arranged
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well-arranged
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online
courses
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can bring
fantastic
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a fantastic
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image for the
universities
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in the whole
society
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.
This
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can lead to representitive academic role, which most of univerisities would like to get. So, there are a great deal of
universities
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provide
Correct pronoun usage
that provide
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online
courses
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as their common feature to gain the reputation from the
cmmunity
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community
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, online
courses
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are
convinent
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convenient
for
people
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to study, giving them
oppotunities
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opportunities
to update
the
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their
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abilities and make the whole community
be
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apply
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full of
academic
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an academic
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atmosphere.
Universities
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who
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that
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provide
the
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apply
show examples
online
courses
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can teach and learn flexibly and gain
the
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a
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good social image.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say that this is a positive change and give two main reasons you will explain.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and a real or clear example. For example, explain how a worker can take an online class after work and use new skills in a job.
task response
Some ideas are hard to follow, such as the point about a university’s image. Explain how online courses help the school, or use this paragraph to give a stronger point about students.
task response
Add one short point about a possible problem, such as less face-to-face help or the need for self-control, then explain why the good points are still stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: introduction, one paragraph about workers and easy access, one paragraph about flexible study, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one direct main sentence. Keep all the sentences in that paragraph linked to that one idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more exact way. For example: “First,” “Also,” “For example,” “As a result,” and “However.” Do not repeat “This is because” too often.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between sentences clearer. For example, after saying that workers need money, explain that online study lets them keep their jobs while they learn.
coherence and cohesion
Check word choice and spelling because these can make the meaning less clear. For example, use “knowledge,” “convenient,” “opportunities,” “universities,” and “community.”
task response
You answer the question and keep a clear positive view of online university courses.
task response
You give useful ideas about people who work, study from home, and keep their skills up to date.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful links between ideas, such as “For example,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion.”
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