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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

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Introduction
Nowadays, certain people think that
students
Use synonyms
 should not be given
homework
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that it plays a significant role in
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum.
Although
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,
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apply
show examples
homework
Use synonyms
 can improve the knowledge and educational capability of the student,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
spending an excessive amount of
duration
Check wording
time
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 in studies can affect mental health and cause fatigue.
Body paragraph 1
Parents generally think that
,
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apply
show examples
 studying for longer hours at home
,
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apply
show examples
 makes their kid smart and help get better grades.
This
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 is true to an extent, where
students
Use synonyms
 are studying and
revisioning
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reviewing
show examples
 their syllabus that they studied
trying
Punctuation problem
, trying
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 to retain previous information.
Homework
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 aids the student with much more clarity and knowledge of the concept
and
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, and
show examples
 makes them confident in academic tests.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
,
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apply
show examples
 revision sessions at home could help academically, if these are not managed properly,
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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 can affect the mental health of the child.
This
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 can cause stress, lack of focus, and eventually fatigue
which
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, which
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 can affect his physical abilities too.
For instance
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,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 India
schools
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, schools
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 have a study plan for almost 10-11 hours everyday which is an
extensively
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extremely
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 tiring schedule for
students
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,
espeacially
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especially
 if they
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 to do
homework
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 too.
Body paragraph 2
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According to
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In
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 my opinion, I would prefer their study schedule to be managed with short breaks, which would help the
students
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 relax for a bit before continuing their studies at home.
Also
Linking Words
, parents should
realize
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realise
show examples
 that
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
 and physical health of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young childrens are more important than academic
acheivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
 and more attention is provided to
complete
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the complete
show examples
 well-being of the child.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I opine that a more relaxed mind can focus better and spending a lot of time in studies and doing
homework
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 after a long day at school can affect
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
 well-being of the kid.

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task response
You discuss both sides: homework can help learning, but too much can cause stress. However, the first view needs more detail. Explain why some people want no homework, such as more time for rest, play, family, and sleep.
task response
Make your own view clear in the introduction and keep it the same in the end. You support homework in small amounts, with breaks and care for health. State this in one clear sentence.
task response
Use a more specific example. The example about schools in India is useful, but explain where this information comes from and how it shows that too much homework is harmful.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and an ending, so the main shape is clear. Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea: first the good side of homework, then the bad side.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and join too many ideas with 'and' or 'but'. Split them into short sentences. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words more clearly: 'On the one hand' for the good side, 'On the other hand' for the bad side, and 'In my view' for your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid starting a sentence with 'Although' and then using 'but' in the same sentence. Choose one: 'Although homework helps learning, too much can cause stress.'
task response
You give a clear main idea: homework can help students learn, but too much work can harm their health.
task response
Your opinion is present and focuses on a fair study plan with breaks.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear ending that returns to the main point about mental well-being.
coherence and cohesion
The India example helps connect your point to a real school situation.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instills discipline
  • Deepen understanding
  • Independent learning
  • Reinforcement
  • Parental involvement
  • Curriculum insight
  • Burnout
  • Student stress
  • Leisure time
  • Relevance of assignments
  • Project-based learning
  • Interactive learning
  • Individual learning styles
  • Conducive study environment
  • Homework policy
  • Balanced approach
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