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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The pie charts below show the electricity generation by source in China and Spain in 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts below show the electricity generation by source in China and Spain in 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
Linking Words
 pie chart indicates the electricity production and compares the
electicity
Correct your spelling
electricity
 by different fuel sources between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1990 and 2010 What stands out in
this
Linking Words
 chart is that in 1990, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 covers produced 17% of the entire
power
Use synonyms
 production in France. Twenty years later, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 has risen to become the biggest provider of electricity in France
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 67%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, back in 1990, natural gas provided around a quarter of the entire energy consumption, only to decrease to only 4% by 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 coil and gas together provided France with around half of
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 energy consumption, which
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 decreased to around one quarter in 2010.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
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 there is hydro
power
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 never played a major role and
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
show examples
 now at only 2%.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
show examples
 one can say that the diversity of electricity sources has decreased
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there is a clear major player in the field.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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