IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that activities during the free-time should be planned while others disagree. Discuss both sides and include examples and relevant data from your own experience.

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Introduction
Some people thought that leisure
time
Use synonyms
 should be well planned with
Use synonyms
activities
Punctuation problem
activities,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others think
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
of it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In my opinion , free
time
Use synonyms
 is for relaxation
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it shouldn't be planned like
schedule
Correct article usage
a schedule
show examples
, whenever
Punctuation problem
. Whenever a
show examples
 person
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 comfortable
to do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 or
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
 some
activities
Use synonyms
 ,
should
Correct pronoun usage
they should
show examples
 feel free to do
that
Correct pronoun usage
so
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both
prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
 before explaining my point of view with some examples.
Body paragraph 1
The main reason people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 in pre-planning
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 is
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to get rid of boredom. Some individuals love to do their
favorite activites
Correct your spelling
favourite activities
 or pursue their hobbies like playing , dancing or learning new skills or exploring other new
activities
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 in their leisure
time
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. As they
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to enjoy every bit of multiple
activities
Use synonyms
 in
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
time
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;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
,
planned
Correct article usage
a planned
show examples
 schedule
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 better for them . As an example , going for
Correct article usage
a
show examples
group summer trip with all planned
activities
Use synonyms
 like canoeing,
horseriding
Correct your spelling
horse riding
, wall climbing with proper scheduling helps everyone to stay connected and on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
track
withouth
Correct your spelling
without
 wasting any
time
Use synonyms
 in finding each other .
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some
indiviaduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 don't prefer the idea of a planned free
time
Use synonyms
 as they do not want to schedule it just like the working hours. It is the
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
Use synonyms
 , they love to enjoy it
stress free
Correct your spelling
stress-free
 without any rush to do
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of
activities
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. The essence of
freedon
Correct your spelling
freedom
, relaxation and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfort are the things a person looks for in
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 beyond
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working hours .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , if pre-planned things do not
happens
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
 in the way someone planned , it
left
Wrong verb form
leaves
show examples
 the person with regrets .
Therefore
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
also
Linking Words
 believe that enjoying the free
time
Use synonyms
 with natural flow and as per mood swings is the best way rather than
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
 it ahead of
time
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, no doubt the preplanned things have
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 own benefits
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 enjoying the free
time
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 with full freedom and doing
activities
Use synonyms
 without any stress of running out
the
Change preposition
of
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 is the best way to hang out in leisure
time
Use synonyms
.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view clearly. To make the answer stronger, explain each main idea one step more. For example, say why a plan stops boredom, and why an open plan can help a person rest better.
task response
Your trip example is useful and clear. Add one short example from your own free time for the other view too, such as a day when you chose to read, walk, or meet friends without a plan.
task response
Keep your view the same from start to end. You say free time should not be planned, and the last part supports this well. Make the final sentence less broad by saying that this way may suit people who have busy work days.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: opening, one part for each view, and an ending. Keep using clear opening words such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences hold too many ideas. Split them into two or three short sentences. This will make your meaning easier to follow. For example, after the trip example, write one new sentence to explain how the plan saves time.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “Therefore” should show a clear result. In the second main part, “For this reason” may fit better when you move from failed plans to your own view.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you discuss planned free time, unplanned free time, and give your own view.
task response
The summer trip example is linked well to the idea that a plan can help a group use time well.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part stays focused on one main view, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction tells the reader what the essay will do, and your ending gives a clear final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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