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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below show the males and females arrested over 5 years and the reasons for the most recent arrest.

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The chart below show the males and females arrested over 5 years and the reasons for the most recent arrest.
The presented pie charts
demonstrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
show examples
 the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 arrested over a 5 year period, and the bar chart illustrates the causes for recent arrests.
Overall
Linking Words
, approximately a third of
males
Use synonyms
 faced
arrestment
Replace the word
arrest
 by the end of 1994,
while
Linking Words
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of females
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 below 10%. Public drinking represented the highest rate of arrestment reasons,
whereas
Linking Words
 theft and no answer accounted for the lowest figures.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
women
Use synonyms
 surpassed
men
Use synonyms
 in terms of criminal prevention percentages, which exceeded 90%, compared to roughly two-thirds of
males
Use synonyms
. Public drinking outstripped all other arresting reasons, where more than 30% of both genders were arrested because of it.
Men
Use synonyms
 were significantly higher than
women
Use synonyms
 in drink driving figures, with around 26% and 14%, respectively. Both
males
Use synonyms
 and females arrested because of assault and other reasons accounted
between
Change preposition
for between
show examples
 15-20% of total arrestments, followed by theft, where
men
Use synonyms
 considerably outstripped
women
Use synonyms
 in percentages. No answer constituted 6% for females, and about 4% for
males
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, males with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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