IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Robots and AI are being developed to replce humans in workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

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Introduction
There has been a growing discussion among
people
Use synonyms
 around the world that
such
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 automated
mechines
Correct your spelling
machines
 - like artificial
intellegents
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intelligence
 and robots - will replace
humans
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 at work.
This
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 is happening because there are, indeed, some jobs that
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not require
human's
Check wording
humans'
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 emotion and
conciousness
Correct your spelling
consciousness
.
However
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, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 advancement could bring more positive impacts than its drawbacks in society.
Body paragraph 1
The basic idea of using autonomous
machinary
Correct your spelling
machinery
 is to help
humans
Use synonyms
 work effectively and efficiently.
Such
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 simple-task jobs that do not require critical thinking and human involvement can be helped by machines.
For example
Linking Words
, jobs related to administration and data inputting are now massively being taken by
such
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 advanced tools trained by machine learning engineers. But, there are some areas
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 impossible to be performed by robots
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such
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, such
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 as psychologists.
Psychological-related
Replace the word
Psychologically related
 fields require human
conciousness
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consciousness
, especially
,
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apply
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 in performing therapy.
Machine
Correct subject-verb agreement
Machines
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 will never replace
humans
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 in
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this
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these
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 aspects because they lack emotions and
compassions
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compassion
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 - the most vital factors in counselling.
Body paragraph 2
Although
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 it sparks debates over its negative side, I believe that these
hi tech
Correct your spelling
high-tech
 will help more
people
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 in improving their soft skills and knowledge.
For instance
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, experts fear
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 existence of AI will cause cognitive decline in human's brain. It is because many
people
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 tend to let AI search and think for them, which they no longer fully use their cognitive efforts as
hardly
Rephrase
much
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 as they used to be.
However
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,
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 issues can be tackled by giving
people
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 enough education to use AI ethically and effectively. They need to be guided in taking
an
Correct article usage
apply
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advantage of AI to
improving
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improve
show examples
 their soft skills
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such
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, such
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 as using AI for proofreading and brainstorming.
Such
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 actions
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been done by many universities in the UK, in which,
instead
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 of
forbiding
Use the right word
forbidding
show examples
 students to use generative AI, educational institutions create guidelines to support their study.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the purpose of developing current autonomous
hi tech
Correct your spelling
hi-tech
 is
necesarily
Correct your spelling
necessarily
 to help
humans
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 work more efficiently.
In
Change preposition
From
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 my perspective, the positive impacts will outnumber its negative side effects as long as it is regulated properly.

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task response
Answer both questions more fully. Explain not only why AI takes simple work, but also why firms choose it, such as lower cost, speed, and work at any time.
task response
Your main view is clear: the good effects are greater. Make this view stronger by showing how new kinds of work may grow and how people can move into that work.
task response
The point about jobs like therapy is useful, but link it more clearly to society. Say that people skills will still be needed, so not all workers will be out of work.
task response
Your UK university example is helpful. Explain the result of these rules: students can use AI as help, but still think and learn for themselves.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep one main idea in each body part: first why AI is used, then why its effects can be good.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are too quick. For example, after saying AI may cause less thinking, add a clear step to show why training and rules can solve this risk.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words more often and with care: 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'As a result', and 'For this reason'. This will make the flow easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid moving from robots in therapy to the wider good effects without a clear link. Start the next part with a sentence that tells the reader you will now discuss the wider effect on society.
task response
You give a clear answer about the overall effect on society and keep this view from the start to the end.
task response
You use relevant examples, such as data input, therapy, and AI rules in UK schools.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use contrast well when you show both the risk of AI and ways to reduce that risk.
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