IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write an essay using all the notes and giving reasons for your point of view. A lot of young people take a gap year before they start university. Do you think this is a good or a bad thing?

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Introduction
It is undeniable that the younger generation has a lot of pressure
while
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 they are deciding
their
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on their
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 future studies. Nowadays, a lot of them opt for taking a gap
year
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 before they start their education in universities. In my opinion, I believe it is not a bad idea to take some
time
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 before university if students
ise
Correct your spelling
use
 it well,
whereas
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 some people would disagree with it.
Body paragraph 1
First and foremost, students taking their
time
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 before moving to higher education is a good idea since it can offer them clarity and confidence about their decision.
For example
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,
instead
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 of rushing and making wrong choices, they get to take some
time
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 off and be clear.
Moreover
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, in the meantime, they can experiment with something they are more interested in and gain some skills that could be helpful in their future,
for instance
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, working in a mechanic shop or as an assistant in other IT fields
which
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, which
show examples
 could help them choose a course later or build skills for their
further
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 studies.
Thus
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, a gap can be better if
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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 generation has a job or a course plan
for
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in
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 the meantime.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, it is not always favourable to put some
time
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 in between high school and college because it can lead to
loss
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a loss
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 of motivation in some children.
Also
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, they can lose their academic momentum when they are sitting at home doing nothing school-related for a
year
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 or so.
It is clear that
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 starting a
year
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 later means that they will finish a
year
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 later , which will delay their earnings as well, so, unless they have funds saved, they can face financial strain and reduce their lifetime earning potential.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that youngsters should be allowed to take a
year
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 gap before major studies , but the negative impacts must be kept an eye on. In order to keep them on the right path, there should be proper guidance for them so that they don't have to regret any decisions in their future.

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task response
State your main view more clearly at the start: a gap year is good only when students have a clear plan. Keep this same view in every part of the essay.
task response
Develop each main point with one more clear step. For example, say how work in a mechanic shop can help a student learn if this job is right for them.
task response
Your points about loss of drive and money are useful. Explain why these risks are less serious when a student has work, travel, or a short course planned.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part form: start, two main parts, and end. Keep using this form.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas smoother. Instead of “they get to take some time off and be clear,” say what they become clear about, such as their course or career.
coherence and cohesion
Use key words in a steady way. Choose “gap year” and “university” more often, rather than changing to “time,” “year gap,” “higher education,” and “college.”
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences have too many ideas. Split them into two shorter sentences, especially the sentence about money and later earnings.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear view: a gap year can be helpful when it is used well.
task response
You include both good and bad sides, with useful examples about work, skills, study drive, and money.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea, and the order of ideas is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The ending returns to your main view and adds the useful idea of guidance for young people.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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