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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

8.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is often debated whether eating establishments ought to be mandated to publish the dietary and calorie breakdown of their meals. In contemporary society, rising public health concerns regarding obesity and poor diet have sparked a debate over transparency in the catering industry.
While
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 some argue that forcing eateries to print nutritional details creates unnecessary operational hurdles, I believe the positive impacts on public well-being heavily outweigh these challenges.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, enforcing compulsory nutritional disclosure can place significant financial and administrative strain on independent food businesses. Unlike multinational franchises with standardised supply chains and centralised recipe testing, small family-owned bistros frequently alter their menus based on seasonal produce.
Consequently
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, having dishes tested in laboratories to verify exact levels of sodium, fat, and calories can incur prohibitive recurring expenses.
In addition
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 to these testing fees, the ongoing cost of redesigning and reprinting physical menus imposes severe operational hardship on modest culinary ventures operating on razor-thin profit margins.
Nevertheless
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, governments can mitigate these downsides through phased implementations, free standardised calculation software, or exemptions for micro-enterprises.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the societal health dividends of menu transparency are far more substantial. Requiring restaurants to make dietary values public empowers consumers to make informed choices, which is crucial for managing chronic lifestyle diseases
such
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 as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and obesity.
Furthermore
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, clear labelling assists individuals with severe food intolerances and allergies in avoiding potentially life-threatening ingredients.
For instance
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, following the enforcement of mandatory calorie-labelling legislation across chain restaurants in New York City, public health assessments observed a measurable shift among patrons toward lower-calorie menu alternatives. When customers are fully aware of what their meals contain, they are far more likely to practice portion control, ultimately curbing long-term public healthcare expenditures.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 the obligation to reveal nutritional metrics may place a logistical and financial burden on smaller restaurateurs,
this
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 drawback can be addressed through targeted policy exemptions. The overarching benefit—equipping the population with the knowledge necessary to combat chronic diseases and maintain healthier lifestyles—is decisively more profound.

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task response
Make the main claim even more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that the good points are greater than the bad points, then name the two main reasons: better health and safer food choices.
task response
Develop the point about allergies with more care. Nutrition facts do not always show all allergy foods, so explain that full ingredient and allergy notes may also be needed.
task response
The New York example is useful, but give a little more detail about what changed. This would make the example feel more real and fully support your point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: bad points first, then good points, then a final view. Keep this strong plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and have many ideas. Split a few of them into two shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links only when needed. Words such as “however”, “also”, and “as a result” work well, but do not add too many links in one paragraph.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear view that the good points are greater than the bad points.
task response
Your ideas are on topic and well explained. You show both the cost to small restaurants and the health gains for the public.
task response
The example about calorie notes in New York helps support the idea that people may choose food with fewer calories when facts are shown.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one clear main idea, and the move from the bad side to the good side is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The first paragraph clearly introduces the subject and your view, while the last paragraph brings the main points together well.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well to show contrast, cause, and result.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutritional information
  • Calorie count
  • Public health
  • Informed choices
  • Accountability
  • Dietary requirements
  • Logistics
  • Analyzing
  • Unhealthy ingredients
  • Consumer
  • Health outcomes
  • Gluten-free
  • Overemphasis
  • Comprehensive understanding
  • Dining experience
  • Clinical experience
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