IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Both men and women these days work full -time, so its logical for them to share household chores equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
An obvious way for two working people is to share their obligations. Nowadays, all genders are working full-time jobs. Partners who are living together struggle with sharing responsibilities between them. In my opinion, there must be a life-work balance.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I agree that a fair share of duties helps retain your house clean , because each partner doesn't feel under the pressure of doing all the work by themselves and can choose an exact type of responsibility.
Also
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, a well-managed family keeps a convenient timetable based on your daily routine and effort. Even though everyone has a different understanding of fair organizing in responsibilities.
For instance
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, someone may have a night shift scheduled,
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 on
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 particular days, the couple can change the responsibilities between them
,
Punctuation problem
;
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moreover
Linking Words
, one of them can take more efforts on
partners
Check wording
the partner's
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 busy day,
for instance
Linking Words
, to throw out the trash even if it is not their usual agreement.
Moreover
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, an essential part is to decide what type of work you would like to do, so that avoids future arguments.
Therefore
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, it seems to me that a part of society is used to having only one person involved in the household.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, I believe that in a modern
world
Add a comma
world,
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 a fair contribution must be made for every single couple. Since ancient times, there were traditional gender roles,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means a woman who
keen
Verb problem
is keen
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 only on being a housewife and waiting for him at home with cooked meals and
vanished
Correct article usage
a vanished
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 area,
while
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 a man
is
Verb problem
works
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 hard
working
Wrong verb form
apply
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, even if he prefers doing something else. Despite
this
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, we can keep
this
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 idea of lifestyle , but it is not
obligated
Replace the word
obligatory
 for all society to have the same views.
In addition
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, women work as hard as men now, so it would be better to have not the same lifetime and roles we had decades
before
Rephrase
ago
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite the issue that may have existed in relationships based on homely duties, from my point of view, to keep your relationship in a good
condition
Punctuation problem
condition,
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 it's important to understand each
other
Check wording
other's
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 views.

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task response
Make your view more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you agree that both people should share home work when both have full-time jobs.
task response
Stay close to the question. The key point is equal sharing of chores, but your essay also talks about old gender roles and life-work balance without fully linking them to equal sharing.
task response
Explain what “equal” means. It does not always mean the same number of jobs. It can mean a fair split based on work hours, night shifts, health, and child care.
task response
Use one clear example and explain it fully. For example, if one partner works at night, the other can cook and clean that day; on another day, they can change roles.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduce your view, give one reason with an example, give a second reason with an example, and then restate your view at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main idea. The first body paragraph moves between cleaning, time plans, night shifts, and old habits. Split or reduce these ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “In addition” should show a clear link between the two ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make your last paragraph stronger. It should directly answer the question again, such as: both partners should share chores fairly because both have work outside the home.
task response
You give a clear general view that sharing duties can reduce stress and help a couple manage daily life.
task response
Your example about a night shift is useful because it shows that a fair split can change from day to day.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening, two main body paragraphs, and a closing paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful signposts, such as “To begin with”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time employment
  • household chores
  • share responsibilities
  • divide tasks fairly
  • a fair contribution
  • work-life balance
  • gender equality
  • traditional gender roles
  • domestic responsibilities
  • daily workload
  • mutual support
  • household management
  • childcare duties
  • equal partnership
  • avoid unnecessary conflict
  • feel overwhelmed
  • flexible arrangement
  • open communication
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