IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
In
todays
Correct your spelling
today's
 world, bicycles are a less popular form of
transportation
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mainly two reasons
;
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are in a constant rush for work and prefer a more comfortable means of
transportation
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Due to
Linking Words
 expansion in modernisation and technology,
people
Use synonyms
 have invented many other convenient ways of travelling which are more efficient and quicker. Many
people
Use synonyms
 reside far away from their workplace,
hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 restricts them to use bicycle for work. Another reason is climate change
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it has now become quite unpredictable. To cite an example, if an employee is cycling to an important destination, they might be affected by severe weather conditions
such
Linking Words
 as extensive heat or
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 some cases, sudden rainfall. It makes them inappropriate for official purposes,
therefore
Linking Words
,
delayes
Correct your spelling
delays
 the process. Cars and public
transportation
Use synonyms
replaces
Correct subject-verb agreement
replace
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem by offering a safer and faster form of
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
.
Body paragraph 2
There are many ways
on encouraging
Wrong verb form
to encourage
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to start bicycling more often.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by spreading awareness regarding its health benefits. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are getting more
consicious
Correct your spelling
conscious
 about their physical health and signing up
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 gym memberships.
Bicycle
Replace the word
Bicycling
 acts as a form of cardio, improving heart health and increasing strength and endurance. Companies and government authorities play a vital role in motivating individuals to use more bicycles.
For example
Linking Words
, organisations can create an event for
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 employees to ride a cycle, for an achievable distance, to work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, government authorities can organise a social event like
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 tour around the city, to reduce the usage of other means of
transportation
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
To
conclue
Correct your spelling
conclude
, I would like to say that
althought
Correct your spelling
although
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there are various better alternatives to bicycles,
Linking Words
however,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is one of the most beneficial
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 one can do to improve their wellbeing. Authorities can create interest in
people
Use synonyms
 by introducing
such
Linking Words
 events occasionally.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. To make the answer stronger, explain each cause and each way to help in more depth. For example, say how safe bike paths, bike parking, or lower prices can make people choose a bike.
task response
Some points are useful but too broad. The idea about weather is clear, but the point about climate change is not needed. Say that bad weather can make cycling hard or unsafe.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are quite general. Add one clear real example, such as a city that made bike lanes near offices or schools, and explain the result.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this shape, but make the first paragraph say clearly that you will discuss causes and ways to increase bike use.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. Words such as “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, and “For this reason” can show the order and the cause more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the word order is not clear. For example, write “Cars and public transport solve this problem because they are faster and protect people from bad weather.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “people” and “transportation” too often. You can use “workers”, “commuters”, “travel”, or “public transport” when they fit.
task response
You give clear reasons for lower bike use, including long travel to work, lack of time, comfort, and bad weather.
task response
You offer useful ways to increase bike use, such as sharing health facts and holding work or city bike events.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are placed in a sensible order: causes first, then ways to help, followed by an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Examples about workers cycling to work and city bike tours help the reader understand your points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • cycling infrastructure
  • bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic calming measures
  • commute
  • subsidies
  • physical exertion
  • environmental benefits
  • safety regulations
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