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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many students graduate high school in their country and want to continue their studies in another country. Give the reasons why students want to study overseas and give some problems they might have.

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Introduction
In modern society, life has changed a great deal, especially in how students graduate.
This
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 includes many
reasons
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 and
problems
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. Most people believe that studying in another country has many
causes
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advantages
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.
However
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, others believe that it has many
problems
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.
Thus
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, both
points
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 have significant
points
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.
This
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 assay will provide key information to explore the topic.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, in terms of
problems
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,
according to
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 the primary point, there are many clear
problems
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. These issues support our study.
Firstly
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, the hard rules application is one of the most issue.
This
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 includes the percentage of GPA, the English level and the report value.
Secondly
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, the place of education is another problem. The Kuwaiti college is the prime example. It is a long way from our hometown.
As a result
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, many people prefer to study in other cities.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, in terms of
reasons
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,
according to
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 the secondary point, there are many
reasons
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. The tips help students to think about outer study.
First,
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the high cost of the internal school is the main point.
This
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 will make the requirement more expensive. The difficulty of the subject is another dramatic reason.
For example
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, the high cost of books.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
according to
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 the
reasons
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 and issues,
according to
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 the given data, there are many significant benefits.
However
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, there are many dramatic drawbacks. Both
points
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 have important tips.
Thus
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, I believe that studying in other cities has become useful.
Moreover
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, the government recommends people follow the
points
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 for great results and the best life.

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task response
Answer both parts in a clear way. Give reasons why students go abroad, such as better schools, more course choices, and a new life. Then give problems, such as high costs, being far from family, and language problems.
task response
Keep each main idea clear. Some ideas do not match the question. For example, a college being far from home is not a reason to study in another country. Explain how each point affects students.
task response
Use real and clear examples. The example about the Kuwaiti college is not fully explained. You could say that a student may miss family and need a lot of money for rent, food, and travel.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, one paragraph for reasons, one paragraph for problems, and conclusion. Put reasons first because the question asks for them first.
coherence and cohesion
Make the links between ideas more natural. Do not repeat phrases like “according to” and “main point.” Use simple links such as “One reason is,” “Another problem is,” “For example,” and “As a result.”
coherence and cohesion
Write a clear topic sentence for each body paragraph. Then add two ideas and explain each one. This will help the reader follow your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear words such as “tips,” “points,” “data,” and “issues” when you mean reasons or problems. Name the idea directly.
task response
You tried to discuss both reasons and problems, which shows that you understood the two parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion. This gives your writing a basic shape.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words, such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “For example,” and “In conclusion.”
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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