IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that employers should invest more in training existing workers to use new technologies, while others believe companies should hire people who already possess the required digital skills. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Introduction
It is often argued that
employers
Use synonyms
 should invest more in training their existing
workers
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 new technologies,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that companies should hire
people
Use synonyms
 who already possess the required digital
skills
Use synonyms
. Both views have some valid arguments and can be supported for different reasons.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe that
employers
Use synonyms
 should invest more in training existing
workers
Use synonyms
 because
this
Linking Words
 can improve their employment
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and help them adapt to technological
changes
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, I believe that
employers
Use synonyms
 should invest more in training their existing
workers
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 new technologies. The primary reason for my view is that training can improve
workers
Use synonyms
' employment
opportunities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because employees can gain new knowledge and
skills
Use synonyms
 through training, which can make them qualified for new tasks and positions.
In other words
Linking Words
,
workers
Use synonyms
 can develop the
skills
Use synonyms
 needed to remain useful in a changing workplace.
For example
Linking Words
, a factory worker may receive training in operating automated
machines
Use synonyms
 and learn how to
use
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 modern computer systems.
As a result
Linking Words
, the worker can continue working in the
company
Use synonyms
 and may have better career
opportunities
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.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another important reason is that training can help
workers
Use synonyms
 adapt to technological
changes
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
machines
Use synonyms
 can perform some traditional tasks faster and more cheaply than humans, which may reduce the demand for certain
workers
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a manufacturing
company
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 may introduce automated
machines
Use synonyms
 and train its existing employees to operate and maintain them
instead
Linking Words
 of replacing them completely.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
workers
Use synonyms
 can adjust to technological
changes
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 and reduce their risk of unemployment.
Therefore
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, I believe that training existing
workers
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 is the more beneficial approach.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that companies should hire
people
Use synonyms
 who already possess the required digital
skills
Use synonyms
. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 view is that skilled employees can help companies increase workplace productivity.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because
workers
Use synonyms
 who already have digital
skills
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
 new
machines
Use synonyms
 and software more effectively without requiring a long period of training.
For example
Linking Words
, a
company
Use synonyms
 introducing automated production systems may hire experienced digital
workers
Use synonyms
 who can operate the technology immediately.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
company
Use synonyms
 may complete more work in less time and improve its
overall
Linking Words
 efficiency.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is understandable why some
people
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 support
this
Linking Words
 view.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are valid arguments in favour of hiring
people
Use synonyms
 who already possess digital
skills
Use synonyms
, I personally believe that
employers
Use synonyms
 should invest more in training existing
workers
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because training can improve their employment
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and help them adapt to technological
changes
Use synonyms
.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To make your ideas stronger, explain why training can also help the company, not only the workers. For example, it may keep good workers and save money over time.
task response
Your examples fit the topic well. Try to make one example more real and more detailed, such as saying what a worker learns, how long it takes, and how this helps the company.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: your view, the other view, then a short ending. Each main point has a reason and an example, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', 'For example', and 'As a result'. However, some links repeat often. Use a wider mix, or join ideas more naturally, to make the writing less formula-like.
coherence and cohesion
The first two body parts both support training. You could put them in one longer body part, then use the other body part for hiring skilled people. This would give each side a more even place in the essay.
task response
Your position is clear from the start and stays the same until the end.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: training current workers, hiring skilled people, and your own view.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending match well, and the ending restates your main reasons clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs start with a clear main idea and then add a reason, an example, and a result.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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