IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Human activity have negative effect on plant animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything. Some people believe that effective act be taken to improve this solution. Discuss both views and your opinion

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Introduction
There is no gainsaying that human
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 impose
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 obvious negative effect on plant
animal
Correct word choice
and animal
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 mammals. Some maintain that no
action
Use synonyms
 can change
this
Linking Words
 trend,
while
Linking Words
 others claim that it is still not
late
Rephrase
too late
show examples
 to alleviate
this
Linking Words
 tendency.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both the opinions and provide
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my own that it is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time to
Use synonyms
action
Replace the word
act
 and it will make a huge difference.
Body paragraph 1
For people
Change preposition
People
show examples
 holding the former assertion may think that human
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 have made
unchangeable
Correct article usage
an unchangeable
show examples
 impact on other
species
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, to cater to the urgent needs of human activities, we overused varying natural materials
such
Linking Words
 as wood,
water
Use synonyms
, minerals, and
flesh
Correct article usage
the flesh
show examples
 of other mammals, leading to deforestation,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
water
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, pollution, and the disappearance of various
species
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. It damaged the local environment and biodiversity
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 may
need
Verb problem
take
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 decades to recover. In
this
Linking Words
 sense, for animals influenced by human
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, it is too late to take
action
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.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, some still believe that it is
still
Rephrase
apply
show examples
not
late
Rephrase
too late
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 if we apply appropriate methods to alter the situation.
For instance
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, in
Yangtze
Correct article usage
the Yangtze
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river
Capitalize the proper name
River
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 of China,
due to
Linking Words
 the overuse of local
water
Use synonyms
 resources
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 decades, numerous
of
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apply
show examples
species
Use synonyms
 lost their habitats and diminished a lot.
Linking Words
While with
Correct word choice
With
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 the introduction of stricter regulation
such
Linking Words
 as
banning
Correct article usage
the banning
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 of fishing, it showed a great improvement
of
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 biodiversity of
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
water
Use synonyms
. It proved that it will be effective to make a difference to
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and
species
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 if proper methods are applied. I am convinced
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea, believing that the earlier we take
action
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, the earlier we make
contribution
Correct article usage
a contribution
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 to the change.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
no like
Correct your spelling
unlike
 some people drawing the conclusion that human actions can change nothing, I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the latter assertion that if we make
concerted
Correct article usage
a concerted
show examples
 effort, it will make a great difference to
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 environment and
species
Use synonyms
.

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task response
You answer both views and give your own view clearly. To make the answer stronger, explain more fully why some damage cannot be put right, and why action can still help in other cases.
task response
Your China example is useful and on topic. Add one clear fact or result, such as more fish or birds returning after the fishing ban, to make the example more real.
task response
Keep your main idea the same from start to end. Your view is clear: action should be taken now. State this in a simple and direct way in the first paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: start, first view, second view and your view, then end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences. For example, start the first main paragraph with: "Some people think it is too late because much damage has already been done."
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not natural, such as "For people holding the former assertion may think" and "no like some people". Use simple links: "On the one hand", "However", "For example", and "In conclusion".
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating "human behaviors" many times. You can also say "human activity", "people's actions", or "this damage".
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph end by linking its example back to the main point. This will help the ideas flow more smoothly.
task response
You discuss both sides of the question and give a clear opinion in support of taking action.
task response
The example of the Yangtze River and a fishing ban is relevant and helps support your view.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is clear, and the conclusion matches the opinion in the main body.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful linking words such as "For example", "However", and "In conclusion".
Topic Vocabulary:
  • **Biodiversity**: The variety of plant and animal life in a particular habitat.
  • **Conservation**: The action of conserving something, in this case, the environment and wildlife.
  • **Extinct/Extinction**: When a species no longer exists anywhere on Earth.
  • **Ecosystem**: A biological community of interacting organisms and their physical environment.
  • **Habitat Destruction**: The process by which natural habitat becomes incapable of supporting its native species.
  • **Sustainable Practices**: Methods of using resources that do not deplete them or cause long-term environmental harm.
  • **Endangered Species**: Species at risk of extinction.
  • **Ecosystem Restoration**: The process of assisting the recovery of an ecosystem that has been degraded or destroyed.
  • **Global Collaboration**: Countries working together towards a common goal.
  • **Environmental Awareness**: The understanding and knowledge of environmental issues.
  • **Pollution**: The presence in or introduction into the environment of a substance which has harmful or poisonous effects.
  • **Carbon Footprint**: The amount of carbon dioxide emissions for which an individual or organization is responsible.
  • **Climate Change**: Long-term alteration of temperature and typical weather patterns in a place.
  • **Reforestation**: The process of replanting an area with trees.
  • **Sustainability**: Meeting our own needs without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs.
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