Many children today are overweight. This is a serious health problem. Give the reasons for this problem and give solutions to fix it.

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Introduction
Society has changed a great deal, and that includes the eating habits of
children
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.
Today
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, many
children
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suffer from obesity.
This
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is a serious global issue.
This
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essay will examine the reasons for child obesity and the solutions to help
this
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problem.
Body paragraph 1
There are many reasons why
children
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today
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are overweight . First ,
children
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today
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eat far too much junk food.
For example
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, they eat too much Macdonaldas
,
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apply
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and Burger King. The meal includes soda and soft drinks
that
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, that
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affects the
children
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's teeth badly.
Second,
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children
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are not doing any exercises .
For example
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,
children
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are sitting on the sofa and watching TV and iPads for many hours.
Also
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,
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are playing video games all day.
Finally
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,
Children
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are eating too many sweets .
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includes candy , cakes and chocolate .
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,
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are drinking far too many fizzy and sugary drinks .
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, there are several solutions to solve the problem . First , starting by joining them with a sports club .
Children
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can do exercises and communicate with others
instead
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of watching television. Parents should offer healthy food in their meals .
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, having
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drink fresh juice every morning will make a huge difference. Drinking water every day is a good idea . Managing the time for the electronic devices for two or three hours a day will help . Parents should control their
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's diet. Allowing them to eat fast food once a month is a great idea.
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, monitoring their weekly and monthly diet is an excellent strategy. Parents should pay for a monthly subscription to diet companies.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are multiple reasons why
children
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today
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suffer from obesity.
However
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, there are a number of excellent solutions to guide them to better health

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task response
You answer both parts of the question: reasons and ways to help. To make your ideas stronger, explain how each cause leads to weight gain. For example, say that fast food has a lot of fat and sugar, and sitting for long hours means children burn less energy.
task response
Some solutions need more care. Fresh juice can still have a lot of sugar, so water and whole fruit are better ideas. Also, diet companies may not be needed for most children. You could write about help from parents, schools, doctors, and sports groups instead.
task response
Use fewer lists of similar food and drink. Choose two main causes and two main solutions, then explain each one well with a clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, group junk food and sweet drinks together as one cause, and screen time with little exercise as another cause.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas more smoothly. Do not use “For example” many times in a row. You can use simple links such as “As a result”, “Because of this”, “In addition”, and “For this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Make your solution paragraph easier to follow by using the same order as the causes: first food, then exercise and screen time. This helps the reader see how each solution fixes a problem.
task response
You clearly focus on child obesity and give several real causes, such as fast food, sweet drinks, little exercise, TV, and video games.
task response
You give useful ways to help, including healthy meals, more sport, more water, and limits on screen time.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion brings the main point back clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “First”, “Second”, “Finally”, and “In conclusion” help show the order of your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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