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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In the present age, whether
professionals
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 should
work
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 in the
country
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 where they received their training has sparked much debate. Some people assert that doctors and engineers should be required to
work
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 in the
country
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 where they trained,
whereas
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 others argue that they should have the freedom to choose where they want to
work
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. Personally, I am in favour of the second view.
Body paragraph 1
A convincing argument can be made that
professionals
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 should be required to
work
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 in the
country
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 where they received their training. To start with, these kinds of jobs can be mentally and physically demanding.
In other words
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,
professionals
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 need to feel comfortable in their working environment so that they can adapt easily.
As a result
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, they may become more productive and creative in their jobs.
Moreover
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,
professionals
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 who have trained in a particular
country
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 are familiar with its systems, communities and needs, which can allow them to
work
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 more effectively.
For example
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, doctors who have trained in a
country
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's healthcare system may have a better understanding of the needs of local patients.
Body paragraph 2
Admittedly, working in the same
country
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 where
professionals
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 received their training can be easier and more satisfying because they are familiar with the environment and have already developed good communication with local communities.
In addition
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, they do not need to step out of their comfort zone or adapt to new cultures and communities.
However
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, I believe that
professionals
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 should be free to
work
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 in another
country
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 if they wish. Working abroad may provide better salaries, allowing them to enjoy a better quality of life. It may
also
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 expand their professional networks and provide significant career opportunities.
For example
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, interacting with people working in the same field in different countries can help
professionals
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 keep up with new opportunities and job offers.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would concede that working in the
country
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 where
professionals
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 received their training can be easier because they are familiar with the environment and culture. Despite that, I believe that people should have the freedom to choose where they
work
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, as moving to another
country
Use synonyms
 can provide better career opportunities, improve their quality of life and contribute positively to their professional development.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear view of your own. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why a country should make trained doctors and engineers stay. Your first main point is about feeling at ease at work, but this does not clearly show why staying should be required.
task response
Add a key point about public money. If the state pays for training, it may want workers to give time back by helping local people. Then explain why freedom to move is still more important in your view.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are quite general. Use one clear case, such as a doctor trained with public money who must work in small towns for some years.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: an opening, two main parts, and an ending. Each part has a main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The first body part starts by saying workers need to feel at ease. This point fits better with the view that they should be free to choose where they work. Change this part so every idea clearly supports the view that they should stay.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same ideas about being used to the place, culture, and local people in the second body part and the ending. Use that space to add a new reason or explain one point more.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are good, such as “Moreover”, “However”, and “For example”. Make the link from the first view to your own view more direct by stating that ease of work is not enough reason to limit a person’s choice.
task response
You answer every part of the question, show both sides, and make your own view clear from the start.
task response
Your reasons for working abroad, such as better pay, a better life, and more job chances, are on topic and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The opening clearly sets out the two views and your own view. The ending also returns to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are well set out, and your use of simple linking words helps the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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