IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below the poverty line in three states in the USA.

7.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below the poverty line in three states in the USA.
The table compares three states of the USA in terms of four categories, namely
people
Use synonyms
 aged under 18,
people
Use synonyms
 aged over 60, average income per person and population below the poverty line.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest figures were shown in
California
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
the lowest indices were shown in
Utah
Use synonyms
. As the table shows,
people
Use synonyms
 aged under 18 were mostly in
Utah
Use synonyms
 at 28%, but the smallest
percentage
Use synonyms
 was
indicated
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
Florida
Use synonyms
 at 16%.
California
Use synonyms
's proportion was at 17%. Regarding
people
Use synonyms
 aged over 60, the highest index was shown in
Florida
Use synonyms
 at 23%, but the lowest figure was indicated in
Utah
Use synonyms
 at 8%.
California
Use synonyms
's
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 aged over 60 is 13%. Coming to average income per person, the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 was 23,000$
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 was shown in
Utah
Use synonyms
 at 17,000$.
Florida
Use synonyms
's average income per person was 22,000$. Regarding population below the poverty line, the biggest index was indicated in
California
Use synonyms
 at 16%;
on the contrary
Linking Words
, the least index was in
Utah
Use synonyms
 at 9%.
Florida
Use synonyms
's population below the poverty line was 12%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, california, utah, percentage, florida with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "indicated" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • disparities
  • correlate
  • socio-economic factors
  • demographic
  • economic prosperity
  • variance
  • indicators
  • social welfare programs
  • economic development
  • policy-making
What to do next:
Look at other essays: