IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, plastic bags are the main source of rubbish, causing pollution in oceans and on land; therefore, they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
In
this
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 contemporary era , pollution has been a major concern . It is believed
by
Change preposition
apply
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worldwide that bags made od
plastics
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 are causing problems
such
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 as pollution in water bodies and land ,
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
 why
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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 should be removed permanently . I strongly agree with
this
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 statement
which
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, which
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will be discussing
further
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 .
Body paragraph 1
To commence ,
using
Replace the word
the use
 of
Use synonyms
plastics
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plastic
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 bags
in
Verb problem
is
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 not
a
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apply
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an issue if individuals
started to having
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take
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 responsibility to properly decompose
it
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them
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. As recycling it or decomposing it
on
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in
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 the right place with proper equitments wont affect the environment much .
For example
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 ,companies like Decathlon are making their jackets and other things from recycled
plastics
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 . which is
soo
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so
 useful and
evironmental
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environmentally
 friendly for the people .
Therefore
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 , every negative thing has a positive solution its just we need to be mindful.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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 ,
definetly i
Correct your spelling
definitely I
 believe that
Use synonyms
plastics
Replace the word
plastic
 things should be demolished
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 main reason is that it is taking life of not only sea animals but
the
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also the
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 wildlife on
the
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apply
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land . In India , we can see
garbages
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garbage
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 full of plastic bags eaten by dogs and cows
causing
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, causing
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 them serious illness and taking their life .
Hence
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 , it should be monitored carefully by the garbage collecting departments
as well as
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 goverment . Moving
further
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 ,
plastics
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has
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have
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also
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 been
showed
Wrong verb form
shown to have
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 a bad impact on human
beigns
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beings'
 life indirectly or directly .
For instance
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 , workers dealing with manufacturing
such
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 material things faces leukemia like disease
condition
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conditions
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 because of the
chemical
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chemicals
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 used in
this
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 process .
As a result
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 , an alernative methods can be bring in usuage .
Conclusion
To conclude
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 , making use of
carry
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a carry
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 bag made up of
platic
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plastic
 again can be useful
but
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, but
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 I strongly believe that
its
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it's
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 better to totally
banned
Wrong verb form
ban
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 it for the sake of all living
beigns
Correct your spelling
beings
as well as
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 for the surroundings .

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task response
State your view in one clear sentence at the start. You say you agree, but the first body part says plastic bags are not a problem if people act well. This makes your main view less clear.
task response
Give two clear reasons for a ban, then explain each one fully. For example, write about harm to animals and long life of plastic waste in land and sea.
task response
Be careful with facts. The point about workers and leukemia is very strong, but it is not explained or shown. Use a safer point, or explain it with more detail.
task response
Your example about Decathlon is linked to recycling, not to banning plastic bags. Explain why recycling is not enough, or use an example that directly supports a ban.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, one body part about animal and land/sea harm, one body part about why other actions are not enough, then a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of each body part show its main idea. Then add an explanation and one example. This will help the reader follow your points.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use linking words only as decoration. Words such as 'therefore', 'on the other hand', and 'as a result' should show a clear link between the ideas before and after them.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for the key idea. Use 'plastic bags' more often instead of changing to 'plastic things', 'carry bag', or 'such material things', because these can mean different things.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear overall view in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
You use real-life examples, such as animals eating plastic bags and recycling plastic into new goods.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You try to guide the reader with linking words such as 'for example', 'on the other hand', and 'to conclude'.
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