IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film), in whichever way they wish. There should be no government-imposed restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Some people believe that higher authorities should put no limitations on artistic
individual
Check wording
individuals
show examples
 and they should be allowed to
exp share their opinions freely
Correct word order
freely share their opinions
show examples
 through words, songs,
movies
Correct word choice
and movies
show examples
. I agree to
this
Linking Words
 statement to some extent and will discuss the reasons in the subsequent paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
on
Capitalize the word
On
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 the one hand, permitting creative professionals to show their ideas openly often helps to increase awareness
on
Change preposition
of
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 the sensitive topics. When
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 does not
imposes
Wrong verb form
impose
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 any restrictions on them, they can easily put their thoughts into a song or a
movie
Use synonyms
, even if it is related to one of the sensitive topics of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For example
Linking Words
, the Bollywood actor, Akshay Kumar, released a
movie
Use synonyms
 named ‘Pad’ in 2018. That
movie
Use synonyms
 showed the importance of personal hygiene during menstruation and how the use of
pad
Correct article usage
a pad
show examples
 is more hygienic and safe.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 freedom of showing ideas
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a crucial role in raising awareness among people.
Body paragraph 2
Linking Words
on
Capitalize the word
On
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 the other hand, sometimes innovative artists show violent or inappropriate content through their productions.
This
Linking Words
put
Verb problem
apply
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type of content put tremendous negative impact on people, especially on youngsters. Teenagers often
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
try to mimic their idols
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they can easily get into trouble
,
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apply
show examples
 if they
follows
Correct subject-verb agreement
follow
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 or
triggered
Verb problem
are influenced
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 by life-threatening stunts of their
favorite
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favourite
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 artists.
For instance
Linking Words
, Administrations recently banned the Punjabi
movie
Use synonyms
 ‘Satluj’ of Diljit Dosanjh. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
movie
Use synonyms
 could potentially
triggers
Wrong verb form
trigger
show examples
 the youth of the Punjab against security forces.
Thus
Linking Words
, some limitations are necessary for security reasons.
Conclusion
To recapitulate,
although
Linking Words
 artistic individuals should be permitted to express their innovative thoughts
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the public, some restrictions are mandatory to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace and safety in the country.

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task response
Your view is clear: artists need freedom, but some limits may be needed. Make your position more exact in the first paragraph. Say what kind of limits you support, such as limits on harm, hate, or calls for violence.
task response
Develop the second main point more fully. Explain how a film can cause real harm, and why a limit is better than a warning or age rule in this case.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but make sure they are clear and fully explained. In the first example, link the film more directly to the idea that free art can help people talk about a hard social issue.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, two main paragraphs, and conclusion. Keep this shape, but begin each paragraph with a full topic sentence that states its main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” work well here. Also use clear links inside paragraphs, such as “As a result”, “For this reason”, and “However”.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because words are missing or repeated. For example, write “This type of content can have a very bad effect on people” instead of repeating “put” many times. Read each sentence again to check that it has a clear subject and verb.
coherence and cohesion
Use capital letters at the start of every paragraph and sentence. This will make the essay easier to read and give it a more formal look.
task response
You answer both sides of the issue and give a balanced opinion rather than only listing ideas.
task response
The example about a film on menstrual hygiene is relevant and helps show how art can raise public awareness.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion clearly returns to your main view: freedom is important, but public safety also matters.
coherence and cohesion
The two body paragraphs are easy to identify, and each has one main direction.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artistic freedom
  • freedom of expression
  • creative expression
  • government censorship
  • political interference
  • controversial viewpoints
  • challenge social norms
  • raise public awareness
  • social criticism
  • silence dissenting voices
  • incite violence
  • hate speech
  • protect vulnerable groups
  • age restrictions
  • harmful content
  • clear legal boundaries
  • independent review body
  • abuse of power
  • a balanced approach
  • public interest
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