Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

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Introduction
At
present
Correct article usage
the present
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time,
relationship
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the relationship
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between family members
not
Verb problem
is not
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too
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as
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close as before
due to
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developing technology and social media. Because of
this
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, people have become addicted
on
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to
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virtual life by the way,
Correct word choice
and
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can not separate enough time for their relatives. There are some
advantages
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and disadvantages
about
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to
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this
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opinion.
Body paragraph 1
One of the
advantages
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is
this
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kind of conditions help to be more
personal
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personally
independent and give feelings like confident themselves by living alone and separate from their family members or partners.
In addition
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, they have become more
self-prioritized
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self-prioritised
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, and they have started found desicion for their many problems
by
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. By
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the way, they have
realized
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realised
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that
,
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apply
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surviving in
lifes
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life's
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challenges
affordable
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is affordable
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even without support from their families.
Body paragraph 2
Of course, like
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advantages
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advantages,
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there are some drawbacks.
For instance
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, the value
family
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of family
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traditions
have
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has
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disappeared.
As a result
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, in the future will increase risk of
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a
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lack of desires for making family. And
also
Linking Words
,
recently
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recently,
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have increased getting divorce between current individuals.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I have mentioned two opinions for two
side
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sides
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.
Although
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,
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apply
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there are some
advantages
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, for me drawbacks outweigh
good
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the good
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sides.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Explain why families are less close, then compare the good and bad sides in a clear way.
task response
Give more clear reasons. For example, say that long work hours, study, phones, and moving to other cities can mean less time with family.
task response
Develop each main point. Do not only say that people are more independent; explain how this can help them in daily life.
task response
Use a real or clear example for each idea. For example, a young person who lives far from home may learn to cook, plan money, and make choices alone.
task response
Your final view is clear: the bad sides are greater. Make it stronger by naming the main bad side, such as less care, less support, and loss of family time.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, reasons, good and bad sides, then conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with one clear main idea. Keep all the sentences in that paragraph about that one idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “In conclusion”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas clearer. For example, after social media, explain that people may spend many hours online instead of talking to family.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Write shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning easily.
task response
You give a clear reason for the change: technology and social media can take time away from family.
task response
You discuss both good and bad sides and state your own view at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words, such as “In addition”, “For instance”, and “As a result”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Social media
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Geographical mobility
  • Generational differences
  • Individual independence
  • Personal growth
  • Mental health
  • Well-being
  • Family bonds
  • Cultural traditions
  • Familial support systems
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