In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a sum of money each week in the form of a benefit, while some support this, other people believe that this money should not be given. Discuss both points of view and give your own point of view

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Introduction
There has always been a controversy regarding whether giving
money
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in the form of a benefit each week to unemployed
people
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is a good idea or not. Some
people
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claim that
this
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can help support families with financial issues.
While
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others oppose
this
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idea, it can be expensive for the government.
This
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essay will discuss both views, followed by my personal opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On one side of the argument,
people
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believe that the benefit can help citizens afford basic needs
such
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as
,
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apply
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food, rent, and bills.
This
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financial support can prevent unemployed individuals and their families from falling into poverty.
Although
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the amount of
money
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may not be enough to cover all their expenses, it can still help them pay for necessities. Not only that, but these payments can
also
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reduce crime, and
people
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feel less pressured
while
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looking for a new job. Not only that, but having
this
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backing can
also
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help families maintain a good relationship, as financial problems can sometimes create tension at home.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some
people
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believe that unemployment benefits can make citizens too dependent on the government.
For instance
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, if someone gets regular payment every week, they may become less motivated to find a job quickly.
However
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,
this
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problem can be controlled if the government only gives the
money
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for a certain period of time and asks citizens to prove they are looking for a job.Another reason why
people
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think unemployment benefits are a bad idea is because it can cost the nation a lot of
money
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. The society feels as if the
money
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could be used on schools or hospitals
instead
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.
For example
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, more funding for the schools could help build new classrooms , or if
this
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money
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goes to hospitals, they can improve medical equipment.
Conclusion
In my opinion, I believe unemployment benefits should be given as they can help individuals pay for basic needs and reduce stress
while
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they are looking for a new post.
Although
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some may become dependent on
this
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money
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, these problems can be reduced by giving aid only for a limited time. With
this
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argument, I firmly conclude that the advantages are greater than the disadvantages.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why a time limit would stop people from relying on aid.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: aid helps with basic needs, but it may cost a lot and may make some people less likely to look for work. Add one more real or clear example of a person or family to make these ideas more exact.
task response
In the last part, say clearly why help for basic needs is more important than the cost to the state. This would make your final view more fully shown.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, one side, the other side, and your view. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You repeat “Not only that” in one paragraph. Use words such as “Also”, “As a result”, or “In addition” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas smoother. For example, after the point about crime, explain how money for food and rent can lower stress and so may lower crime.
coherence and cohesion
Check spacing and full stops. For example, write “job. Another reason” with a space after the full stop, and do not leave a space before a comma.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and state your own clear opinion.
task response
The points about food, rent, bills, stress, schools, and hospitals are on topic and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear focus, so the reader can follow your ideas without much effort.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what the essay will do, and the final paragraph gives a clear ending.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment benefits
  • Safety net
  • Financial insecurity
  • Poverty
  • Economic stability
  • Disincentive
  • Financial burden
  • Job training programs
  • Employability
  • Root causes of unemployment
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