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Writing Samples
Band 5

Online education and training in business world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Do advantages if this development outweight the disadvsntagws?

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Introduction
In modern times, it has become increasingly common to use online platforms for training and online education in the business world. Many companies provide their training courses online
instead
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 of organising traditional face-to-face training.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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this
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 practice has some disadvantages, advantages like
flexibility
Use synonyms
 and cost-effective outweighs its drawbacks.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, employees have
Use synonyms
flexibility
Correct article usage
the flexibility
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 to do training almost anytime and from anywhere. Employees can complete their training
according to
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 their availability of time
considering
Punctuation problem
, considering
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 their tight schedules, who can not attend the fixed time trainings. Another reason is that
online
Correct article usage
the online
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 method can reduce
cost
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costs
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 for
the
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apply
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businesses. Online courses
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not require
to
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apply
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renting a place and paying employees to travel to that place, which is expensive in
conventional
Correct article usage
the conventional
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 method.
This
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 will not only support the budget for businesses but
also
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 provides convenient way for workers.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages to
this
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 development.
Firstly
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,
this
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 method may reduce direct communication between trainer and trainees, which is the most important factor of
such
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 sessions as it
does
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apply
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not only create an opportunities for interaction but
also
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 a platform where participants share concerns and questions.
Secondly
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, some candidates feel less motivated
while
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 studying alone. Without
supervision
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supervision,
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 they might feel distracted and postpone completing the course.
Hence
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, online
program
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programs
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 often
fails
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fail
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 to provide enough knowledge.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion, the advantages of online training outweigh its
disdvantages
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disadvantages
. Modern technology allows companies to make online development more interactive through interactive debates, videos and practical activities.
Furthermore
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, businesses can combine online courses with face-to-face sessions
ocassionally
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occasionally
 for a change, which can provide
flexibility
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 and interaction.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
however
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,online
course
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courses
show examples
 can have drawbacks like workers may lose concentration and interactive sessions in training, but benefits like
flexibility
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 and cost-effectiveness outweighs its disdvantages.

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task response
Answer both parts of the question clearly. You state that the good points are stronger, but explain more fully why flexibility and lower cost are more important than less contact and lower interest.
task response
Give one clear, real example. For example, a worker can watch a short lesson after work instead of taking a day off and travelling to a training room.
task response
Develop the point about learning quality. Explain when online study may fail, such as when a worker only clicks through a lesson without doing tasks or asking questions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: good points, bad points, your view, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make each main point follow the same pattern: point, reason, and example.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “This is useful because…”, “As a result,…”, and “However, this problem can be reduced by…”.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “interactive” and “flexibility” too often. Use simple changes such as “contact with the trainer”, “group talk”, “free time”, and “easy access”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph shorter and stronger. Restate your view and the two main reasons, without adding a new idea that needs more detail.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides and give a clear view that the good points are stronger.
task response
The ideas about time, place, travel cost, less contact, and low interest are all closely linked to online business training.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each body paragraph has one main side of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Firstly”, and “Furthermore”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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