Extreme sports such as sky diving and sking are very dangerous and should be banned.To what extend do you agree or disagree withe this view?
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
It is true that sky diving,sking etc are extreme
,Punctuation problem
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they are very dangerous.
some
tend towards the viewpoint that
bannedWrong verb form
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these
,
iFix capitalization
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would have to support the idea that
should
by themselves.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,it is understandable
forCorrect word choice
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some
believe that
bannedWrong verb form
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extreme
can slow down population
,one of the main reasons
can beWrong verb form
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extreme
are not
.
means that extreme
equipment
areCorrect subject-verb agreement
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not perfect
thatCorrect word choice
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could have be live dangerous.
Body paragraph 2
,it is more convincing
forChange preposition
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me that extreme
sportCheck wording
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should not be banned.
,
iFix capitalization
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believe science can help
control themselves better.
is because technology is
moreVerb problem
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and
better.
can use new equipment
they can
face to skyingVerb problem
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.
,the fact that many
needsCorrect subject-verb agreement
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extreme
to relax themselves,especially outdoorsy
.
,some
athleticsCheck wording
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play some extreme
like diving or
to help them
cleanVerb problem
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their mind that find
moreCorrect pronoun usage
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possible to
the
.
Conclusion
In sum up,
extreme
have some
,it seems to me that
peopleCheck wording
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choice they want to try is more important.
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State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say that you disagree with a full ban, but that strong safety rules are needed.
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and a simple example. For example, say how better training, rules, and safety gear can make skydiving less dangerous.
Some ideas are hard to understand. Replace ideas such as “slow down population” with a clear point about death or serious injury.
Use examples that fit the point. The idea about athletes winning a company is not clear. Explain how people may use these sports for fun, health, or to feel free.
Your essay has a clear start, two body paragraphs, and an end. Keep this shape, but make the link between each sentence clearer.
Start each body paragraph with one main point. Then add a reason, an example, and a short result. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
Use simple linking words correctly, such as “However”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “Therefore”. Do not begin too many sentences with “This is because”.
Make your final paragraph shorter and clearer. Restate your view and give one main reason, rather than adding a new idea.
You answer the question and give a clear general view that people should be free to choose their sport.
You include both sides: the danger of these sports and the reasons not to ban them.
The essay uses a useful four-part shape: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion.
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Firstly”, and “Secondly” help show the order of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.