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Band 5

Some people believe that students should be allowed to choose the subjects they study at school, while others think that schools should decide which subjects students must take. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
It is argued that
students
Use synonyms
 should be able to choose the
subjects
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 they want to
study
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 at
school
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,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that schools should make these decisions for the
students
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with allowing children to decide the
subjects
Use synonyms
 they are interested in because it can help them understand what their true passions are
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 learning the topics they enjoy will be less stressful.
Body paragraph 1
One major benefit of allowing
students
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 to choose their own
subjects
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 is that they can discover what they are interested in.
This
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 can help them with having better ideas of future career paths and who they really are as individuals.
For instance
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, based on my personal experiences, I am allowed to choose the
subjects
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 I want to
study
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 at
school
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. After picking visual arts as one of the classes, it has helped me
realize
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realise
show examples
 how much I enjoy drawing and painting.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when having classes you enjoy, stress and disinterest towards
school
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 will decrease. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is because
students
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 will not feel as if they are stuck in a strict
school
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 system, but rather in a place where they can spread their wings and
study
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 what they want to learn.
Consequently
Linking Words
, children will start viewing schools as an enjoyable place to develop themselves.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly believe that
students
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 should have a choice to decide what they want to
study
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 at
school
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 because it can prepare them for the future and live a
more healthy and
Correct word order
healthier and more
show examples
 enjoyable
school
Use synonyms
 life as children.

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task response
Discuss the other view as well. Explain why some people think schools should choose some subjects, such as maths, science, and English, for all students. Then show why you still support student choice.
task response
Make your opinion more balanced. You could say that schools should keep some main subjects, but students should choose extra subjects. This gives a full answer to the question.
task response
Develop each main idea with one more clear reason. For example, choice can help students enjoy school, work harder, and learn more.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. However, it needs a paragraph about the school view, so the order fully matches the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the two views: “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “However”. This will make the change between ideas clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one idea. Start with the main point, explain it, and then give an example or result.
task response
Your own view is very clear from the start and stays clear throughout the essay.
task response
The example about visual arts is real and relevant. It helps show how subject choice can help a student find what they enjoy.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each body paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly state the main message of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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