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Band 6.5

The pie charts show the results of a survey in which undergraduates and postgraduates were asked about the range of books and non-printed materials in their school library.

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The pie charts show the results of a survey in which undergraduates and postgraduates were asked about the range of books and non-printed materials in their school library.
The pie charts depict the results of a survey on the range of
books
Use synonyms
 and
non-print
Use synonyms
materials
Use synonyms
 available in
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 library, specifically
undergraduates
Use synonyms
 and
postgraduates
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
were more prefer with both
Correct word order
preferred both books and non-print materials more
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 and
non-print
Use synonyms
materials
Use synonyms
 than postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
. The figure for
non-print
Use synonyms
materials
Use synonyms
 for undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
giving
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 a much higher proportion of “very good” ratings,
while
Linking Words
 for postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 was more
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
“not good”. The range of
books
Use synonyms
 was rated 37% of undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
 as “very good”, compared 22% of postgraduate
.
Check wording
students.
show examples
Additionally
Linking Words
, the percentages of satisfactory ratings by
undergraduate
Check wording
undergraduates
show examples
 were slightly higher than
postgraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduates
show examples
, at 35% and 28% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 considered the range of
books
Use synonyms
 was 50%, nearly double compared to 28% by
undergraduates
Use synonyms
 As for
non-print
Use synonyms
materials
Use synonyms
, 68% of undergraduate student appraisal it “very good”,
while
Linking Words
 only 16% of postgraduate
gave
Check wording
students gave
show examples
 the same appraisal. The proportion of satisfactory by both
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 a difference of only 2%, with 20% for
undergraduates
Use synonyms
 and 22% for
postgraduates
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, 62% of
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 considered the
non-print
Use synonyms
materials
Use synonyms
 not good, significantly higher than 12% of
undergraduates
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, non-print, materials, undergraduates, postgraduates, students, good” with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • satisfaction
  • non-printed materials
  • e-books
  • online journals
  • survey results
  • percentage
  • preferences
  • library resources
  • printed materials
  • undergraduates
  • postgraduates
  • range of books
  • accessibility
  • research tools
  • student needs
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