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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Introduction
It is often argued by many that fitness training is the main benefit of having a healthy lifestyle,
while
Linking Words
 others believe a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 routine is. I acknowledge that exercising is a healthy routine;
however
Linking Words
, I slightly view that having a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 will have a better impact on people because it provides
nutrients
Use synonyms
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 necessary for our lives.
Body paragraph 1
Exercising is a way we can be in shape and helps with producing waste from our
bodies
Use synonyms
. In
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run, fitness training reduces the amount of unnecessary fat in us by burning calories.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 gives us enough
nutrients
Use synonyms
 (
such
Linking Words
 as vitamins and fibre), and makes our
bodies
Use synonyms
 strong and energized everyday. Without being correctly nourished, it could lead to diseases or issues in the body.
Body paragraph 2
Despite all the positive effects mentioned about exercising, a primary reason I believe that having a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is more important
that
Verb problem
is that
show examples
 it gives us
nutrients
Use synonyms
.
Nutrients
Use synonyms
 are an essential part of our lives, and without enough or too much of them, we will eventually grow weak.
As a result
Linking Words
, the chances of issues occurring in our
bodies
Use synonyms
 will
less
Verb problem
be less
show examples
 likely
occur
Verb problem
to occur
show examples
 because of stronger immune systems.
This
Linking Words
 strengthens our body both on the inside and the outside.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if we do not exercise but retain a consistent
diet
Use synonyms
, our
bodies
Use synonyms
 will not become particularly weaker internally, but only externally.
Body paragraph 3
It is usually known that internal damage is more harmful than the
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
 on the outside
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that inner problems may be more difficult to treat (
such
Linking Words
 as cancer).
Body paragraph 4
The reason I only side with having a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 over fitness is that I believe that both deeply depend on each other to optimise our health.
For instance
Linking Words
,
initially
Linking Words
 exercising will make us hungry, and that will make us need to consume enough amounts of food.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, though both exercising and having a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 are extremely important for our
bodies
Use synonyms
, I ultimately believe the latter is still more influential to our lives because of the necessary elements it provides.

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task response
You discuss both exercise and diet, and you give your own view. However, your ideas need more full support. Explain more clearly why diet can help health more than exercise, and also show why exercise is still very important.
task response
Some claims are too broad. For example, saying that people who do not exercise will only become weak on the outside is not fully true. Use more careful words, such as “may” or “can,” and give a clear real-life example.
task response
Your example at the end shows that exercise can make people hungry, but it does not strongly prove your main view. Add examples such as a person who eats too much fast food, or a person who eats well but does no movement.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, main parts, and a conclusion. The order is mostly clear, but the fourth paragraph is very short and breaks the flow. Join it to the paragraph before it and explain the link.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main paragraph focus on one clear point. First, explain the good sides of exercise. Next, explain the good sides of a balanced diet and why you think it matters more. Then give your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. “On the other hand” is used when you show a clear contrast, but some of your sentences add a new point instead. Try simple links like “Also,” “For example,” “Because of this,” and “However.”},{
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you discuss both views and state that diet is slightly more important.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction gives a clear main view, and the conclusion returns to this view.
task response
You include useful health ideas, such as vitamins, fibre, body fat, and the immune system.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
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