Some people think it is better for children to have many short holidays during the academic year. Others believe that it would be beneficial to have fewer and longer vacations for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction

Folks argued that

children

Use synonyms

need multiple days off every month,

while

Linking Words

others think it would be crucial to have fewer durable

vacation

Fix the agreement mistake

vacations

show examples

for

Use synonyms

school age

Check wording

school-age children

show examples

. I partially agree that kids should stay

home

Use synonyms

for a short period of time weekly. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

Fix capitalization

show examples

am going to discuss and give my personal opinion.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand,

children

Use synonyms

need training and teaching when they

growing

Wrong verb form

grow

show examples

up.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they have to

sociolyzing

Correct your spelling

socialise

with other

toddler

Fix the agreement mistake

toddlers

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

going to

Use synonyms

school

Punctuation problem

school,

show examples

they learn how to read and write,

also

Linking Words

understand many

phenomen natural

Correct word order

natural phenomena

show examples

color

Fix the agreement mistake

colours

show examples

count

Check wording

numbers

show examples

, etc. There are so many things to learn

the

Correct word choice

that the

show examples

whole year is not enough.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they need

break

Verb problem

to break

show examples

too in order to refresh their mind.

However

Linking Words

, I support the idea for

student

Check wording

students

show examples

to have fewer and longer vacations

instead

Linking Words

of short time off very often.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, having kids

home

Use synonyms

daytime

Change preposition

during the day

show examples

more often might be an issue

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

parents usually adjust their activities

base

Replace the word

based

Use synonyms

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

schedule. As results, after

class

Punctuation problem

class,

show examples

moms or dads will be

home

Use synonyms

with their

children

Use synonyms

. So,

adolescent

Check wording

adolescents

show examples

cannot be

home

Use synonyms

alone

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

parents

suppose

Wrong verb form

are supposed

show examples

to handle their business to pay bills and take care of their family.

Conclusion

summarize

Change the spelling

summarise

show examples

school

Use synonyms

is crucial for

children

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

need

break

Check wording

breaks

show examples

and

vacation

Check wording

vacations

show examples

Overall

Linking Words

, it is significant to have fewer long

break

Fix the agreement mistake

breaks

show examples

than spending more days at

home

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, parents should be

home

Use synonyms

under age

Change preposition

with their children

show examples

to keep

eyes

Check wording

an eye

show examples

on them.

castorshella82

Sep 11, 2026

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task response

Discuss both sides more fully. Explain why short breaks can help children rest, and why long breaks can give families more time for travel or a full rest.

task response

Make your own view clear from the start and keep it the same. The first paragraph says short breaks are good, but later you say you support fewer, longer breaks.

task response

Use examples that match the holiday topic. The example about reading and writing shows why school is useful, but it does not show why one holiday plan is better.

coherence and cohesion

Put one clear main idea in each body paragraph. Start with the view, explain it, give an example, and then link it back to the question.

coherence and cohesion

Use simple linking words more clearly: “On the one hand” for short holidays, “On the other hand” for long holidays, and “In my view” for your own idea.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas are hard to follow because the meaning is not clear, such as the part about parents being at home. Say directly that many short holidays may make child care hard for working parents.

coherence and cohesion

Your ending repeats the main idea, which is good. Make it stronger by giving one short reason for your final choice.

task response

You answer both parts of the question and give your own view.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and an ending.

coherence and cohesion

You use clear signposts such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “To summarize”.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic year
short holidays
long vacations
recharge and relax
preventing burnout
consistent academic engagement
consolidate learning
working parents
balanced lifestyle
extended rest and recovery
stress accumulation
travel or plan major activities
explore hobbies
internships
volunteer work
focused academic calendar
intense period of learning
curriculum completion

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