Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
In recent years, university students tend to learn a few additional subjects alongside their main studies.
This
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matter has sparked a considerable debate among learners. Some
scholars
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believe that supplementary courses offer them opprtunity to develop themselves on diffenent aspect of personality,
while
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others refute
this
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point of view, and argue that
scholars
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should concentrate on their main studies.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before introducing my own opinion.
Body paragraph 1
The proponent of
this
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claim
,
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emphasises that learning some additional courses can lead to significant changes in the youngstar personality.
For example
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, studying some modules related to management, critical thinking and personal growth. Could make an enormous development in the student's mentality . Specifically, in the aspect of dealing with problems and managing individuals.
Also
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, learning some skills
such
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as
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collecting data, analsying and making a descions that university subjects could not provide. After analysing these facts. It is clear why many people support
this
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matter and are consistently looking for knowledge acquisitions related to
this
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kind develops.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some people argue that
scholars
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should prioritise university courses and attempt to master them before looking for any kind of
further
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education.
Therefore
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, the learner could not achieve that without the concept of intensity and repetition.
For instance
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, when
scholars
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try to learn a new language, memorising some new words in a short period could lead to a kind of shallow learning. So, learners may forget those words after a
while
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.
For
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this
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reason, pupils prefer not distrepute thier effort on larg scale of subjects.
Conclusion
In conclusion, as we mentioned before, both views displayed a reseanable evidences to their claim, including looking to develop personality and gain mastery. In my opinion, I totally agree with the first claim that students should support their main learning with more studies and practices that can show the best version of themselves.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. Make your own view clearer in the main body, not only in the last part. Add one full reason why extra subjects are useful, and explain how they help students in real life or work.
task response
Your examples are linked to the topic, but some are too general. Give a more clear example, such as an engineering student taking a business class to learn how to lead a team.
task response
Develop the second view more. Explain why a student may need to give all their time to the main subject, for example because hard courses need much reading, practice, and study time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but make each body part follow one simple order: main idea, reason, example, and short result.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences do not link well. For example, use clear links such as “As a result”, “For this reason”, and “However” to show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Write shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily. Also, do not start a new sentence after “For example” when it belongs to the sentence before it.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you present both views and state your own opinion.
task response
You use useful topic ideas, such as critical thinking, management, and the need for deep study.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each main view has its own body part.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and closing parts clearly show the topic and your final view.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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