IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Preservation of old
buildings
Use synonyms
 is one of the best ways to protect the country's cultural heritage. It is often argued that old
buildings
Use synonyms
 maintainance is expensive, so the government should demolish them and construct modern ones. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because some historic
buildings
Use synonyms
 have significant cultural value and should be repaired,
whereas
Linking Words
 others may be unsuitable for modern use and could be replaced.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are several reasons why the older
buildings
Use synonyms
 should be demolished and replaced with modern designs. Maintaining and repairing old
building
Check wording
buildings
show examples
 can sometimes be really expensive, especially when their infrastructure has deteriorated completely.
Moreover
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, many older
buildings
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 were not designed
according to
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 modern safety standards and lack adequate safety measures
such
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 as fire extinguishers and emergency exits. Modern
buildings
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,
by contrast
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, can incorporate these advanced technologies and can be much
more
Rephrase
apply
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safer, more durable and more efficient.
For example
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, in densely populated cities severly damaged
buildings
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 are replaced with modern residential complexes providing safer and more comfortable homes
while
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 making better use of limited urban land.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, historically and culturally significant
buildings
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 should be preserved because they reflect
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 heritage and provide valuable insights into its past. Many older
biuildings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 are now preserved as monuments because they show the architectural styles of previous
genrations
Correct your spelling
generations
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they can attract tourists and generate global income for
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 community.
For instance
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, Egypt has preserved the pyramids, which attract millions of visitors and provide evidence of the remarkable architectural achievements of ancient civilisation.
Therefore
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, older
buildings
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 with
history
Correct article usage
a history
show examples
 related to their older generations should be preserved and maintained for future generations.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I partly agree that older
buildings
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 sometimes should be demolished and replaced with modern designs, particularly when they lack safety measures and are unsuitable for contemporary needs.
However
Linking Words
,
buildings
Use synonyms
 with significant historical and cultural value should be carefully repaired and preserved.

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task response
Your view is clear: keep old places with real history, but replace unsafe or useless ones. To make it even stronger, say more clearly how a city can decide which old places are worth saving. For example, it could look at their age, history, safety, and value for local people.
task response
Your main ideas fit the question well. Add one more clear detail about the cost of repair versus the cost of a new building. This would make your partly agree view more fully shown.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. Keep using one main idea in each part, as you do now.
coherence and cohesion
Some links can be smoother. For example, use short links such as “As a result”, “In this case”, or “This means” to show how one sentence leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
A few sentences are long and hold many ideas. Split them into two shorter sentences so the reader can follow your point more easily.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a fair, clear view rather than only one side.
task response
The example of the pyramids is strong and clearly shows why some old places should be kept.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part begins with a clear main point, and the ending brings your view back in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Moreover”, and “For instance” help the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preservation
  • Restoration
  • Demolition
  • Architectural heritage
  • Cultural significance
  • Tourist attraction
  • Urban landscape
  • Sustainability
  • Conservation
  • Economic benefits
  • Historical landmarks
  • Urban renewal
  • Infrastructure
  • Maintenance costs
  • Modern amenities
  • Building regulations
  • Community identity
  • Heritage conservation
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