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Writing Samples
Band 4

the two maps below show a park as it is today and planned changes that will be completed in 2020 summarize the information

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The maps illustrate the changes that took place in a science
park
Use synonyms
 between 2008 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the science
park
Use synonyms
 underwent significant changes during the period.The main developments were the construction of
built
Correct word choice
apply
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a new research and development facility ,
while
Linking Words
 grassland was removed.
In addition
Linking Words
,the Cyber security was expanded
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the size of the car
park
Use synonyms
 was reduced.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the bus stop was constructed in the east. In 2008,the science
park
Use synonyms
 consisted mainly of an IT
centre
Use synonyms
 ,a reception,and grassland.The IT
centre
Use synonyms
 was located in the south of the area,
while
Linking Words
 Cyber
security
Capitalize the proper name
Security
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 was situated next to it.There are
also
Linking Words
Reception
Fix the agreement mistake
receptions
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 in the north. By 2020,the area had changed considerably.
IT
Correct article usage
The IT
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centre
Use synonyms
 was replaced by
Innovation
Correct article usage
the Innovation
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centre
Use synonyms
,and
Station
Correct article usage
the Station
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 was constructed in the south.
In addition
Linking Words
,
grassland
Correct article usage
the grassland
show examples
 was removed.A new Cycle path was
also
Linking Words
 added ,connecting
Car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 to the end of
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, in addition, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, centre with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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