IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

"Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
ntroduction
Body paragraph 1
People
Use synonyms
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that the unpaid
services
Use synonyms
 or free
service
Use synonyms
 should be an important thing in high
school
Use synonyms
.
first
Capitalize the proper name
First
show examples
 of
all
Punctuation problem
all,
show examples
 I agree with
people
Use synonyms
 that community
services
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very important
why
Punctuation problem
. Why
show examples
? Because unpaid
services
Use synonyms
teaches
Correct subject-verb agreement
teach
show examples
 them communication skills which
people
Use synonyms
.
Verb problem
need.
show examples
Body paragraph 2
Body part 1
Body paragraph 3
First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 think that unpaid
service
Use synonyms
 will teach our schools student how
the
Verb problem
to
show examples
 deal with
grown up
Correct your spelling
grown-up
 children and even
grownups
Correct your spelling
grown-ups
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 when
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 help old
peoples
Check wording
people
show examples
 crossing the streetcar when he teaches little children, or
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 in
schools
Check wording
school
show examples
Use synonyms
services
Punctuation problem
services,
show examples
 they will learn how
cold they
Use the right word
to
show examples
 deal with all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
no
Punctuation problem
, no
show examples
 matter who
are
Correct pronoun usage
they are
show examples
they
Correct word choice
, whether they
show examples
dealing with
Verb problem
are
show examples
 old ,small,
grown
Correct your spelling
grown-up
,
up
Rephrase
apply
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rich or poor
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 I think that high
school
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 must try unpaid
service
Use synonyms
 as a
apart
Use the right word
part
show examples
 of
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 certificate.
Body paragraph 4
Body part 2
Body paragraph 5
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
 I think that unpaid
services
Use synonyms
let
Verb problem
make
show examples
 high
school
Use synonyms
 responsible.
unpaid
Capitalize the word
Unpaid
show examples
 community
service
Use synonyms
 will give our society the
youth
Check wording
youth's
show examples
 ideas. It is because teenagers think in modern ways
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 that will give us new creative solutions for our problems.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize the proper name
For
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 we can let youths
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
teach old
people
Use synonyms
 about technology and how they use it
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 good.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 we will benefit from the
youth
Check wording
youth's
show examples
 thoughts and the old experience.
Body paragraph 6
Conclusion
Conclusion
In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I strongly agree that the unpaid
services
Use synonyms
 should be a part of the
school
Use synonyms
 education in high
Use synonyms
school schools and middle
Correct word order
schools and middle schools
show examples
 because it gives our students valuable skills

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task response
State your view in a clear full sentence at the start. Say that you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Give two clear main reasons. Explain each reason more: say how service helps students, then say why this is good for school and the wider world.
task response
Use examples that are easy to understand. For example, students can help old people use phones, clean a park, or read with young children. Explain what they learn from each act.
task response
Make the last part finish your answer. Repeat your main view and your two reasons. Do not add new ideas there.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this four-part plan, but make each body part start with one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to show the order of your ideas: First, Also, For example, Because of this, and In conclusion. Use them only when they fit.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because words are missing or in the wrong order. Write short sentences with one idea in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key words all through the essay. For example, choose 'community service' and 'high school students' instead of changing to many unclear word groups.
coherence and cohesion
Check your pronouns. Say 'students' when you mean all students, and use 'they' after it. This will make the meaning clearer.
task response
You give a clear view that you support community service in school.
task response
You include useful real-life examples, such as helping old people and teaching young children.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses a clear overall order: introduction, two main parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'First of all', 'Secondly', 'For example', and 'In conclusion' help the reader see your main steps.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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