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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and maire comparisons where refevant.

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The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and maire comparisons where refevant.
The graph indicates the comparison of electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 and
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 doing
housework
Use synonyms
 in households in one country over a
period
Use synonyms
 of 99 years from 1920 to 2019, with figures measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen from the graph
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 percentage of households with electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
so as to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 doing
housework
Use synonyms
 witnesses a fluctuation.
While
Linking Words
 the figures of used electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 experienced the upward trend, the opposite was true in
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 doing
housework
Use synonyms
. In terms of electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
, in
refrigerator
Check wording
refrigerators
show examples
, during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1920 to 1990,
refrigerator
Check wording
the number of refrigerators
show examples
 climbed rapidly from 0 to 100 and
maintain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 constant
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 100 to 2019. In
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
show examples
 machine, there was a considerable increase from 40 to 70 during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1920 to 1960. After that, it declined slightly by 9 in 1980. From 1980 to 2019, there was a slow climb
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 14 in 2019. In vacuum cleaner, account for 30 in 1920. During the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1920 to 2000, it climbed rapidly by 70 and
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 steady
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 100 in
continued
Correct word choice
the following
show examples
 years. Regarding the amount of time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 doing
housework
Use synonyms
, account for 50 in 1920. During the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1920 to 1980, there was a significant decline from 50 to 15, and it continued
plummet
Verb problem
to plummet
show examples
slight
Replace the word
slightly
 from 1980 to 2019.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words appliances, housework, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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