IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below (narmin)

6.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below (narmin)
The bar chart provides information about the costs of fast foods based on
income
Use synonyms
 groups in the United Kingdom in 1990,
while
Linking Words
 the line chart shows the fast food consumption per person during the period from 1970 to 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, these expenditures exhibited different values across the given categories; some,
such
Linking Words
 as high
income
Use synonyms
 segment, recorded the highest figure,
whereas
Linking Words
 others, like low
income
Use synonyms
 group, registered the lowest share.
In addition
Linking Words
, hamburgers and
pizza
Use synonyms
 experienced an upward trajectory, whilst
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 showed a cumulative reduction.
However
Linking Words
, the cost of each group varied moderately among them. As the figures illustrate, high-
income
Use synonyms
 people spent on hamburger as the largest segment on hamburgers, standing at 45
pence
Use synonyms
, compared with almost 19
pence
Use synonyms
 and 15
pence
Use synonyms
 on
pizza
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
, respectively.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by the hamburger consumption in the average
income
Use synonyms
 population, which constituted around 34
pence
Use synonyms
, taking into account that
fish
Use synonyms
 reached exactly 25
pence
Use synonyms
, and
pizza
Use synonyms
 registered nearly 13
pence
Use synonyms
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the low-
income
Use synonyms
 people spent more on
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
, which recorded roughly 18
pence
Use synonyms
; meanwhile, the remaining foods ranged between 6
pence
Use synonyms
 and 14
pence
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 expenditures were
initially
Linking Words
 300 as the highest one, before declining gradually to 200 over the next three decades. The hamburger costs came
next,
Linking Words
which started at nearly 99,
then
Linking Words
 they increased rapidly to 500 in 1990.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the
pizza
Use synonyms
 spending commenced at approximately 20, after which it climbed steadily to slightly under 300 by the end of the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words income, pizza, fish, chips, pence with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: