In many countries, young people are delaying marriage and having children. What problems does this cause, and what solutions can be suggested?

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Introduction
Nowadays, a growing trend in many nations is that young adults are choosing to marry and start families much later in life.
This
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essay will discuss the major problems caused by
this
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trend and solutions for them
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apply
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also
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.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, delayed marriage and childbrith are causing main issues in workfroce and increased in older population. One of the major
problem
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problems
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in
work
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place is
only
Correct word choice
that only
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few
Correct article usage
a few
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young
people
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are replacing senior employees, who are ready to retire. Decrease or late in brithrate can impact both quality and quantity of
work
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. Another bigger problem
that
Verb problem
is that
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having kids at
late
Correct article usage
a late
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age will bring some
compilacations
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complications
for both
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
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and the baby. Futhermore, it will automatically increase older
people
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in society, where the
government
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need to spend more money for their wellfaire.
For example
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, country like Japan facing issues like less brithrate,
therefore
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shortage labor and large porprotion of older
people
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in the coutry.
Body paragraph 2
Solutions, the
government
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should impelemt so rules regarding early marriage and childbrith.
Firstly
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, all the compaines should provide leaves for the pregency ladies, and by
this
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so many young couple to have kids at younger age because they have a secure job.
In addition
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, workplace will have younger employees to
work
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and senior can retire without any extension in
work
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. By
this
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way, the
government
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Body paragraph 3
will be happy because, having equal ratio of younger and older
people
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, for every nation new generation
people
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required for all kinds of development. Some nations are facing problems with increased in percenatge older population and to solve these issues, the
government
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started providing paid leaves for pregancy ladies.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more full way. Explain each problem clearly, then give a solution for each one. For example, link fewer young workers with help for parents, and link more old people with money for old-age care.
task response
Make your main ideas more clear. The essay names low birth rates, work needs, health risks, and more old people, but some ideas need more detail about why they happen and why they matter.
task response
Use the Japan example more fully. Say how fewer births can mean fewer workers and more public money for old people. This will make the example support your point better.
task response
Avoid saying that the state should make rules for early marriage. This may not be fair or possible. Give helpful ideas instead, such as paid leave, low-cost child care, home help, and good work hours.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer four-part plan: introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion. In the problems part, keep work and population ideas together. In the solutions part, match every solution to a problem.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then add an explanation and an example. Do not move to a new idea before the first idea is fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to show the path of your ideas: 'As a result', 'This means that', 'For this reason', and 'To deal with this problem'. Do not use 'Firstly' many times in the same short part.
coherence and cohesion
Finish the second body paragraph. The line 'By this way, the government' stops in the middle, so the reader cannot follow your final point.
task response
You answer both the problems and solutions parts of the question.
task response
You give a useful real-world example by writing about Japan and its low birth rate.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so the reader can see the main shape of your answer.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful signposts, such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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