IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below show the site of a farm in 1950 and the same site today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

3.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The maps depict the layout of Beechwood
Farm
Use synonyms
 between 1950 and nowadays.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
farm
Use synonyms
 has undergone
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant development and
become
Verb problem
has become
show examples
 a visitor-friendly
area
Use synonyms
, with a better transportation system and commercial spaces.
Body paragraph 1
With respect to farming areas, the fields for fruit trees, soft fruits
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 vegetables have remained unchanged.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the chicken areas and the farmhouse have stayed in the same locations.
However
Linking Words
, the old
barn
Use synonyms
 in the southeast of the
farm
Use synonyms
 was demolished, and a
new
Punctuation problem
new,
show examples
 smaller
barn
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 added near the intersection of the two main roads.
Body paragraph 2
Regarding commercial spots, a new camping field has been built in the place where a large sheep
area
Use synonyms
 used to be. Holiday cottages are
also
Linking Words
 constructed in the
area
Use synonyms
 of the old
barn
Use synonyms
. A
farm
Use synonyms
 shop is added in the fruit trees
area
Use synonyms
. Another interesting change is the installation of solar panels near the new camping site.
Conclusion
When it comes to transportation, the tracks running across the
farm
Use synonyms
 have been improved to roads
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 a new road to the
barn
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
also
Linking Words
established
Verb problem
been established
show examples
. The two parking zones have been introduced beside the road, one located near the camping and another one opposite
to
Change preposition
the
show examples
 holiday cottages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give a clearer main view of the biggest changes. For example, say that much of the farm land stayed the same, while new places for visitors and new roads were added.
task response
Check every change on the maps before you write. Make sure you state clearly what was removed, what was kept, and what was built in its place.
task response
Use exact map language. Write that holiday cottages were built on the site of the old barn, rather than saying they were built in its area.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-part order works well: main view, farm land, new visitor places, and transport. Keep this clear order in future map reports.
coherence and cohesion
Group changes by area or by use, as you do here. In the last part, link the two parking areas to the new visitor places so the reader can follow the map more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use short linking words carefully. Words such as 'also', 'however', and 'while' can make the links between old and new features even clearer.
task response
You cover the main changes, including the new camping field, holiday cottages, farm shop, solar panels, roads, and parking areas.
task response
You make useful comparisons between the old and new maps, especially for the barn and the sheep area.
coherence and cohesion
The report has a clear opening and a helpful overall statement.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one clear focus, which makes the report easy to read.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: