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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some be lieve that it is parents who should teach their children to recycle waste while others feel schools are more responsible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
One of the most controversial issues today relates to
recycle
Replace the word
recycling
waste
Use synonyms
 that
children
Use synonyms
 should be taught by
which person
Correct pronoun usage
whom
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 some people tend towards the viewpoint that
children
Use synonyms
 should be taught recycling
waste
Use synonyms
 by
parents
Use synonyms
, others support the idea that
should
Correct pronoun usage
it should
show examples
 be
taugt
Correct your spelling
taught
 by
schools
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to examine both points of
viewand
Correct your spelling
view and
 provide my own opinion.
Body paragraph 1
Supporters of teaching recycling by
parents
Use synonyms
 contend that
parents
Use synonyms
 can deeply impact kids, which is rooted in the belief that
children
Use synonyms
 spend
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
staying with their
parents
Use synonyms
, and they will learn
parents
Use synonyms
'
behviour
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 and
eco-system
Correct article usage
the eco-system
show examples
 conservation concept.
Then
Linking Words
paents'
Correct your spelling
parents'
 eco-friendly behaviour, daily
habit
Check wording
habits
show examples
 will plays anessential role in
children
Use synonyms
's daily routine
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
, cultivating their eco-friendly mindset. From
this
Linking Words
 perspective, teaching by personal example
as well as
Linking Words
 verbal instruction
highligts
Correct your spelling
highlights
 the critical importance of teaching by
parents
Use synonyms
, suggesting that it offers practical and immediate benefits to childrens' code of conduct about environmental protection
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as recycling
waste
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the argument
favor
Change preposition
in favour
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 responsibilities
remians
Correct your spelling
remains
 a compelling consideration.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the opposite argument is that
schools
Use synonyms
 have responsibilities
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 teach
children
Use synonyms
 to recycle
waste
Use synonyms
For
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
 one thing,
teachers
Use synonyms
'teaching may have a better and
efficiency
Replace the word
more efficient
 result because of the
children
Use synonyms
's nature- Listening
Use synonyms
Teachers'
Change preposition
to Teachers'
show examples
 Words. To illustrate,
teachers
Use synonyms
 may have a
scencific
Correct your spelling
scientific
 professional knowledge about recycling, and
tey
Correct your spelling
they
 can
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 more technical recycling methods.
Fo
Correct your spelling
For
 another, the fact that
teachers
Use synonyms
' professional and scientific
Linking Words
also
Check wording
work also
show examples
 deserves our attention.
In other words
Linking Words
, people think that
schools
Use synonyms
 can teach
children
Use synonyms
 accurately and deeply in terms of professional terms and methods,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will have a better influence on
children
Use synonyms
's knowledge reserve.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it might seem sensible for people
support
Verb problem
to support
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
' responsibilities, I personally prefer the combination of
parents
Use synonyms
 and
schools
Use synonyms
' teaching,

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task response
Discuss both sides in the same depth. The parents side is clearer than the school side. Add one clear reason and one real example for each side.
task response
Give your own view more clearly. You say parents and schools should work together, but explain why this is the best way. For example, parents can show good habits at home, while schools can teach facts and run recycling work.
task response
Use more specific examples. You could mention sorting paper, plastic, and food waste at home, or a school recycling bin project.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. However, some ideas repeat or stop too soon. Make each paragraph follow a simple plan: main idea, reason, example, result.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words correctly. For example: “On the one hand”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “On the other hand”. Avoid long sentences with many ideas joined together.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph complete. Finish with a full sentence that directly states your view and sums up the two roles.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and word form so the meaning is easy to follow. For example, write “schools are responsible for teaching children” rather than “schools have responsibilities on teach children”.
task response
You address both parents and schools, and you give your own view at the end.
coherence and cohesion
The use of separate paragraphs for the two views helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Phrases such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” show a good attempt to guide the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • recycling habits
  • household waste
  • separate rubbish
  • sorting waste
  • recycling bin
  • food waste
  • plastic packaging
  • environmental responsibility
  • daily routine
  • set a good example
  • develop lifelong habits
  • protect natural resources
  • reduce landfill waste
  • practical activities
  • environmental education
  • raise awareness
  • school curriculum
  • shared responsibility
  • responsible consumption
  • waste management
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