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Band 6.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.

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The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.
The graph illustrates how the
out of work
Correct your spelling
out-of-work
 people in the UK spent their time on different activities in the course of the past year.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 were more active and spent more time on tasks during the mornings. In
general
Add a comma
general,
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 the two genders spent more time on diverse activities,
Linking Words
however
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 were generally
more busy
Replace the word
busier
. During the morning, housework was the single most popular activity amongst
women
Use synonyms
 at 49%,
whereas
Linking Words
 only 19% of
men
Use synonyms
 spent their mornings doing domestic tasks.
Women
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 did more shopping (26%) than
men
Use synonyms
 (20%).
In contrast
Linking Words
, the most prominent activity for
men
Use synonyms
 in the early hours was job hunting at 22%,
whereas
Linking Words
 for
women
Use synonyms
 it was 16%. Both groups reported doing nothing and sitting around at only 3%. In the afternoon, the percentage of housework fell
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
significantly at 21% for
women
Use synonyms
 and 7% for
men
Use synonyms
. Job hunting
also
Linking Words
 decreased at 12% for
men
Use synonyms
 and 13% for
women
Use synonyms
. The primary activity in the late hours for
women
Use synonyms
 is visiting friends or relatives,
whereas
Linking Words
 for
men
Use synonyms
 was watching TV.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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