Nowadays, young people communicate with friends and family through mostly social network sites, rather than other ways of communication like talking on the phone or face to face. Do you think it is a positive or negative development

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Introduction
In recent decades, the public has been exposed to technology-driven resources, particularly social networks.
Therefore
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, a significant number of young people prefer social networking platforms for chatting over face-to-face communication or talking on the phone. Regardless of the positive aspects, I firmly believe it is a predominantly negative development because online
chats
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do not convey individuals’
feelings
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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social sites raise doubts regarding
safety
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.
Body paragraph 1
Emailing is a convenient way to share information quickly and
also
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serves as a catalyst for communication cohesion.
However
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, no online platform can replace a face-to-face conversation or hearing a familiar voice, as
feelings
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and emotions are not transferable through a screen.
For instance
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, a student may get a low score on an exam and need support, but an email cannot provide the comfort and reassurance that a face-to-face conversation can.
Thus
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,
this
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example alone expresses my view on the inability to share
feelings
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through social networking platforms.
Body paragraph 2
Debates about
safety
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on the Internet are increasing, and nobody can prove that online
chats
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can guarantee the protection of personal data. When people communicate through social networks, they often share private information,
such
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as their location, photos, and personal opinions.
This
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information can be misused by hackers, advertisers, or even criminals.
For example
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, identity theft and cyberbullying are becoming more common, especially among young users who may not fully understand the risks. Unlike a private conversation in person, online
chats
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leave a permanent digital footprint that can be accessed or leaked.
Therefore
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, the lack of security is a serious drawback that cannot be ignored.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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social networking platforms offer convenience and speed, they cannot replace the emotional depth and
safety
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of face-to-face communication. The inability to convey true
feelings
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and the rising concerns about online
safety
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make
this
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trend predominantly negative.
While
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technology will continue to evolve, it is essential to find a balance and not let digital
chats
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completely replace real human interaction.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start, and you keep the same view in all parts. To make it stronger, explain more fully why online messages cannot show feelings. You could also say that voice calls may show more feeling than texts, but still do not fully replace meeting in person.
task response
Your ideas about safety are on topic and well explained. Add one more clear link to young people, such as how a young person may share a photo or place without knowing who can see it.
task response
The examples fit your main points. The exam-score example is clear, but email is not exactly the same as social network use. Use an example about a social media message or group chat to stay closer to the question.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. Each main part has one key idea. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are good, such as “For example,” “Thus,” and “Therefore.” Use a few more natural links inside the first main part so the change from convenience to feelings is smoother.
coherence and cohesion
The first sentence of the first main part says that emailing helps people communicate, but the rest of the part says online contact is weak. Make the link clearer: say that online contact is fast, but it cannot give the same care as meeting in person.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very strong claims such as “no online platform can replace” and “nobody can prove.” Softer words like “may not fully replace” and “cannot always keep data safe” are clearer and more fair.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear negative view. Both main reasons stay focused on the topic: lack of real feeling and online safety.
task response
Your safety paragraph gives clear details, including private data, identity theft, and cyberbullying. This helps the reader understand your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening tells the reader what you will discuss, and your ending returns to the same main view.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are easy to follow, with one main idea in each. Your examples come after the main point, which makes the writing clear.
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