IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

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Introduction
Most people maintain that
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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 of high-rise buildings is the most feasible solution to combat housing shortage in large cities. I totally agree with the statement because it can minimise land usage and provide an easy-to-access location for urban residents.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main advantages of vertical urbanisation is that it needs a lot less land to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
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mount tall buildings.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can provide enough accommodation for
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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 urban population
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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also
Linking Words
 affordable housing to large populations. Provided that only urban sprawling is possible, property pricing in the city would
be skyrocketing
Wrong verb form
skyrocket
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. To illustrate it, a survey conducted by the Thai government in 2025 shows that a majority of
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
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 population chose to live in apartments
with
Change preposition
due to
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 the
sole
Correct word choice
apply
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fact that a large investment was not necessary
on
Change preposition
in
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 accommodation.
Body paragraph 2
Another merit is that it can save commuting time for the urban population. The main reason why most people opt for living in cities is that
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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 can provide all amenities without having to travel long distances. As basic infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals, schools,
universities
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and universities
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 are within reachable distance, it can ease
a
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the
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 strain on them regarding transportation. To illustrate it, a survey conducted by a real estate agent in Yangon shows that most apartment hunters prefer
an-easy-to access
Correct your spelling
an easy-to-access
 location where not only commercial spaces
such
Linking Words
 as malls and shopping centres but
also
Linking Words
 recreational and
sport
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sports
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 centres
including
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, including
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 a public swimming pool and a
gym
Punctuation problem
gym,
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 are added.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, I completely concur with the view that constructing tall apartments is the most effective strategy to tackle a lack of
enough
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apply
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accommodation in urban areas because it does not need much space and it can
also
Linking Words
 provide convenience for residents.

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task response
State your view more fully in the first part. Explain why tall buildings are better than other ways to deal with the lack of homes, such as building new areas outside the city.
task response
Develop the first main point with clearer cause and result. Tall buildings can hold many homes on a small piece of land, so more land can stay for parks, roads, and other public needs.
task response
The second main point is less direct. Easy access to shops, schools, and hospitals may come from good city planning, not only from high-rise homes. Show more clearly how tall buildings in central areas make this possible.
task response
Use examples that clearly prove each point. The Thailand example is hard to trust because it does not say how it shows that tall buildings use less land. A simple made-up city example may work better if you explain it well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. Keep this shape, but make the link from each topic sentence to the main question more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same example form in both body parts. Instead, give one clear example in each part and explain what it means before moving on.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and hold several ideas. Break them into shorter sentences. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. For example, after 'As a result', make sure the next idea is a real result of the idea before it. Also, 'Provided that' does not fit well in this sentence; use 'If' instead.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep the same view in the ending.
task response
You choose two useful points: saving land and making daily travel easier.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part starts with a clear main idea, which helps the reader follow your writing.
coherence and cohesion
The ending brings your two main points together and answers the question again.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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