IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic wolrd. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these viese views and give your own opinion.

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
I believe these days finding
information
Use synonyms
 is
more easeir
Replace the word
easier
 than before, so I agree
for sharing
Wrong verb form
to share
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 for free to help
people
Use synonyms
for getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 what they want.
Body paragraph 1
first
Capitalize the word
First
show examples
 of all, these days we use
Ai
Capitalize the proper name
AI
show examples
 for most of our research, so it is so
basik
Correct your spelling
basic
 to find
information
Use synonyms
 from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, if
Punctuation problem
. If
show examples
 I share
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
information
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 will be more intresting for any
information
Use synonyms
 I share, and they will depend on me without using any
Ai
Punctuation problem
AI. However
show examples
,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
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if I have
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of views
in
Change preposition
on
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 my page will make me improve my skills and my
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 over and over again to make them more
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
.
Body paragraph 2
seacond of all, I totally disagree for using any informations or education in a busness way, anyone in
this
Linking Words
 world deserve to know any
information
Use synonyms
 in any time,
for example
Linking Words
, my uncle he has a website to share any new
information
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 he know and it is for free,
people
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 always comment in his page "thank you for your effort" , " you are the best" , And he feel happy every time he saw the comment section.
Conclusion
Linking Words
overall
Capitalize the word
Overall
show examples
,
informations
Check wording
information
show examples
 is not a business at all
,
Correct word order
; also,
show examples
also
Linking Words
 helping
people
Use synonyms
 always
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a good effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, and if you make them find any
information
Use synonyms
 easily and for free, they will never forget you.

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task response
You give a clear view: you support free sharing of information. However, the task asks you to discuss both views. Add a full paragraph about why some people want to keep information private, such as to protect new ideas, money, or people’s safety.
task response
Make your main ideas more clear. In the first body paragraph, you talk about AI, views on your page, and skill growth. These ideas do not clearly show why free sharing helps society. Focus on one main point at a time.
task response
Your uncle’s website is a useful example because it shows that free information can help people. Explain more clearly what kind of information he shares and how it helps people in real life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and an ending, so the basic shape is clear. Use each paragraph for one idea, and start it with a clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. “First of all” and “Second of all” help, but words like “however”, “for example”, “as a result”, and “on the other hand” can show the link between ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and join many ideas with “and”. Break them into shorter sentences. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same focus. The point about people depending on you instead of using AI does not fit well with the main idea of sharing information for everyone. Remove it or explain it in a better way.
task response
You state your own view from the start and keep this view through the essay.
task response
You use a personal example about your uncle to support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing has a clear beginning, middle, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
You try to guide the reader with paragraph starters such as “First of all” and “Second of all”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • innovation
  • proprietary research
  • confidentiality
  • sensitive information
  • trade secrets
  • open access
  • intellectual property
  • market growth
  • educational resources
  • knowledge sharing
  • societal advancement
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