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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

English has become a need of the day and the local language are getting sidelined Give opinion and discuss your view.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
In today’s digital world,
English
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 is essential for international business, higher education and online communication.
Due to
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 the high demand for
English
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,
people
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 may forget the importance of their national
languages
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. In my opinion,
although
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 learning
English
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 can give
people
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 better job opportunities and access to global information, local
languages
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 carry history, traditions and a community’s identity.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, in
this
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globalized
Change the spelling
globalised
show examples
 world,
English
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 is essential for getting a job in international companies. Employers need employees who have good
English
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 communication skills because they need to interact with
people
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 from different countries and access international information.
In addition
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, schools can teach
English
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 as an important second language
while
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 still providing strong support for local
languages
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.
For example
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, if young children learn both
languages
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 from primary school, it will be easier for them to speak
English
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 and their mother tongue in the future.
Therefore
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, they will be able to communicate clearly and confidently.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, national
languages
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 provide residents with a sense of identity in their countries.
For example
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, Urdu is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 national language of Pakistan, Hindi is widely spoken in India, and
English
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 and French are the official
languages
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 of Canada. A mother tongue is essential for preserving individuals’ cultural history and traditions.
Furthermore
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, governments should provide public services, books and media in both
English
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 and local
languages
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 to promote the use of local
languages
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 among students.
Moreover
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, parents can speak their local language at home so that children grow up bilingual. If young
people
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 stop using their mother tongue, cultural knowledge may disappear over time.
Conclusion
To conclude
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,
although
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English
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 is necessary for international communication and access to global information, it is
also
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 important to preserve national
languages
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 for future generations. In my view,
English
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 should be learned for practical reasons, but it should not replace native
languages
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.

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Task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same: English is useful, but local languages must not be lost. To make the answer even stronger, explain more fully why a local language may be lost, such as when schools, work, and media use only English.
Task response
Your main ideas are good, but some points could go one step further. For example, say how using two languages at school can help children keep family stories, old books, and local ways of life.
Task response
The country examples are relevant, but they mostly show where languages are used. Add one clear example that shows the result of losing a local language in real life.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: an opening, one paragraph on English, one paragraph on local languages, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
The linking words are clear and well used. However, you use several links close together in the second main paragraph, such as “Furthermore” and “Moreover”. Use fewer of them and make the link between each idea more natural.
Coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat the same point about children learning both languages. You could join these ideas and then add a new point, such as the role of TV, books, or public signs in local languages.
Task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a balanced view. Your final view is direct: people should learn English, but native languages should remain in use.
Task response
Your reasons are relevant and easy to understand. You explain the value of English for jobs and world information, and the value of local languages for history, traditions, and identity.
Coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear focus, so the reader can follow your line of thought without trouble.
Coherence and cohesion
The opening gives useful background and clearly shows the two sides that you will discuss. The ending returns to the main view and closes the essay well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • international language
  • career opportunities
  • higher education
  • access to information
  • local language
  • mother tongue
  • cultural identity
  • national heritage
  • traditional knowledge
  • language preservation
  • bilingual education
  • use both languages
  • protect minority languages
  • public awareness
  • school curriculum
  • local media
  • pass a language on to children
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