Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment in essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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Introduction
In recent days,
crime
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is
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has been
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booming significantly. A group of people think that without extreme
sentence
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sentences
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their lives are insecure, which is important to control offences. I am largely
occour
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in agreement
with
this
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statement
and
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, and
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i
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I
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will discuss my ideas in
upcoming
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the upcoming
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paragraphs with relatable
example
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examples
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.
Body paragraph 1
There are so many reasons that capital punishmnet is play a vital role
for
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in
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controlling
crime
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in
society
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. The first and foremost reason is that it may reduce
crime
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in the future after knowing of
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punishment
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punishments
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like life imprisonment and the death penalty. Because they have a fear of that
so
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,
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they may avoid illegal activities.
For example
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, a survey conducted by "The Times of India" found that, after implementing extreme
penalty
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penalties
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for serious crimes
such
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as rapes and
murder
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murders
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. It decreased
crime
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by around 73% in 2 years.
Thus
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,
this
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type of
punishment
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is essential to save
society
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.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
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, it spread peace in
society
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for doing their religious activities and personal events.
Beacuse
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Because
mostly crimes are committed for religious reasons in recent days. If the death penalty is implemented in the rules, offenders might avoid harming others' activities.
Nevertheless
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, another group of individuals believe that it is
a
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apply
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also
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crime
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a crime
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to
give
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impose
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capital
punishment
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for their offences. Because they think that everyone has a
life for
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apply
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bright future, they have to send them to a rehabilitation
center
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centre
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for education to recover from their past life and give ways to grow their career.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, there are so many factors that
think
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suggest
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that the death
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punishment
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penalty
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is essential for protecting violence in
society
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.
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from violence.
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The government should make a rule of capital
punishment
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for rapers and
murders
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murderers
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.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first paragraph. Say if you agree, disagree, or agree only in part. Your essay says you agree, but it also gives a strong point against the death penalty. Explain your own view more clearly.
task response
Develop each main idea more. For example, explain why fear of punishment may stop some people, but also ask if the death penalty really stops all violent crime.
task response
Use careful support. The survey from a news paper is not fully explained, so it does not sound strong. Give a clear real example, or explain the example in more detail.
task response
Answer the key word “to what extent”. You could say that the death penalty may have some effect, but better police work, fair courts, and help for people after prison are also needed.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear idea in each body paragraph. The first body paragraph can be about fear and crime. The second can be about why prison and help may be better than death.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas clearer. Words like “For example”, “However”, “As a result”, and “In contrast” can help the reader follow your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending should match your main view. At present, the essay first says it largely agrees, then gives both sides, and finally fully supports the death penalty. Keep the same position from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeated general phrases such as “there are so many reasons” and “in recent days”. Start each paragraph with a direct main point instead.
task response
You address both the idea that the death penalty may stop crime and the idea that people may be helped through prison and education.
task response
You include an example to support your first main point, which shows an attempt to give evidence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening, two body paragraphs, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “For example”, “Moreover”, and “To conclude”, to connect parts of the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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