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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People today spend more time consuming content than creating it. Why is this the case, and what impact does it have on individuals and society?

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Introduction
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 spending lot of
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
videos
Use synonyms
 and reading posts.
This
Linking Words
 is a negative trend
on
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in
show examples
 society
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 individuals
also
Linking Words
face
Use synonyms
 some problems in day to day activitys. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 we discuss
,
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apply
show examples
 why
people
Use synonyms
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
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 more content than
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
 it.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, most of the
people
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watching
Wrong verb form
watch
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 both
kind
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kinds
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 of short
from
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apply
show examples
and long
from
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apply
show examples
videos
Use synonyms
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
,
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apply
show examples
 it is
earlier
Correct word choice
easier
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 to watch than creating
one
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.
Thesedays
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These days
, mobile screens are very comfortable to scroll
videos
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, and social media apps are very attractive
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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age group
people
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 spending more
time
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 on
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, youtube introduce shorts, where
content
Correct article usage
the content
show examples
 length should be 60 seconds
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is simple to scroll
the
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through the
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 video
,
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apply
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 if they do not like it.
By
Change preposition
In
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this
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 way,
people
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spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 hours and hours watching these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
videos
Use synonyms
one
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 by
one
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. The major issues with spending more
time
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 on these apps
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 losing human interaction, where
people
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 used to communicate
face
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 to
face
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 are not happening.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, individuals are
consumption increased
Replace the word
consuming more
 and it
will
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to
passive
Correct article usage
a passive
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 lifestyle.
Instead
Linking Words
 of choosing hobbies or physical activites
people
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staying
Verb problem
are staying
show examples
 with mobile screens. It easlier to watch
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then
Use the right word
than
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 creating because, to create a good quality video nice camera needed and
editting
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editing
 skills requried. Another reason for
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
 creators was
artifical intellgience
Correct your spelling
artificial intelligence
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it can create any kind of video without human interaction.
Sad
Correct article usage
The sad
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 part with
that is
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all
Correct word choice
that all
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 AI information can not be true, and it is not
completly dependble
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completely dependable
.
Conclusion
In
conculsion
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conclusion
,
people
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 are consuming
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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 of content,
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 it
easier
Verb problem
is easier
show examples
 than creating it and
to create
Verb problem
requires
show examples
 special equipment and skills
required
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
One
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 of the serious
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 is
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 commuincation to mitigate these
issues
Punctuation problem
issues,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 need to talk with others and reduce screen
time
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more full way. Explain why people choose to watch or read, then explain the effects on both people and society. Add clear points about time loss, health, work, family life, and real-life talk.
task response
Make each main idea clearer. For example, say that watching is easy and needs no skill, while making content needs time, tools, ideas, and practice. Then explain how this leads to more watching.
task response
Use examples that clearly support your point. The YouTube Shorts example is useful, but explain its effect: short videos keep people watching for a long time and take time from sleep, study, or family.
task response
Be careful with the point about AI. It is not fully linked to why people create less content. If you use it, explain clearly that AI may make people less active in making their own work, or remove this point and develop a stronger idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, reasons, effects, and conclusion. Your essay has this basic shape, but the second body paragraph mixes reasons and effects. Keep one main purpose in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with a direct main sentence. For example: “One reason people consume more content is that it is easier than creating it.” Then give an example and explain the result.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “because”, “as a result”, “for example”, “however”, and “therefore”. Make sure the link shows the real meaning between the two ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “it is easier to watch than creating” without adding a new point. State it once clearly, then give different support, such as low effort, fast access, and social media design.
task response
You address both the reasons for content use and its negative effects. You also give a real example of short videos on YouTube.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion. Words such as “Firstly”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow the main order.
task response
Your ideas about less face-to-face talk and a less active life are relevant and useful for this topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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