IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Write a letter to a community college in America which invited you to talk about your country. In your letter: *Accept invitation and suggest preferable dates *Tell them what your talks will be about *What equipment you require them to arrange

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
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 letter to show my gratitude towards your invitation to a community college in America. I am really thankful to you for giving
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this valuable opportunity to me
Correct word order
me this valuable opportunity
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. Because I need to attend an important seminar at my workplace
at the end
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 of
this
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 month, I will be available to come visit America from 1st October to 10th October. My talks will be about cultural and language diversity in India. There are about 22 official languages, so I will discuss how an average Indian person commonly knows about two to three languages and the benefits of being
a
Correct article usage
apply
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multilingual. I will
also
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 mention
about
Correct determiner usage
the
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 different cultural heritage sites of India. I think
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along
Correct word choice
that, along
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 with the lecture, it would be beneficial to use a PowerPoint presentation, which will help to
emphasize
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emphasise
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 the main points.
Therefore
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, I would be grateful if you could arrange a projector so that I can give my talk efficiently with the help of slides. Thank you for your time and consideration. I hope to see you soon. Yours sincerely, Prabh

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task response
Say more clearly that you accept the invite. You can also give two or three dates, not only one time period.
task response
Give a little more detail about the cultural sites you will talk about. This will make your plan feel more complete.
task response
Ask for any other things you may need, such as a laptop, a screen, or a sound system.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. To make it flow better, use simple links such as “First”, “Also”, and “Finally”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point, as you do now. Check small word use, for example, say “mention different cultural heritage sites” without “about”.
coherence and cohesion
Use a more direct first line, such as “Thank you for inviting me to speak at your college.” This makes the purpose clear at once.
task response
You cover all the main parts: your visit dates, the talk topics, and the projector you need.
task response
Your talk plan is clear and interesting, especially the part about languages in India.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is easy to follow, with separate paragraphs for dates, topics, and equipment.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite and fit this kind of letter.
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