IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that studying at college or university is important for successful career. Others think that it is better to quit school and find work to gain experiences for a successful professional life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

7.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
While
Linking Words
 some would argue that studying at college or university is highly relevant for having a successful career, others would say that
this
Linking Words
 path is not strictly required to achieve
one
Use synonyms
's goals. In my personal view, choosing to pursue a degree and
further
Linking Words
 studies in a specific field is certainly a rewarding experience, particularly considering the current job market, which has become increasingly competitive.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both points of view in
this
Linking Words
 regard.
Body paragraph 1
On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, higher education and academic environments allow
one
Use synonyms
 to network and foster meaningful connections with scholars and experts early on.
For instance
Linking Words
, colleges and universities offer an array of different projects and initiatives for their alumni, which are often coordinated by leading professionals in their fields, granting them relevant opportunities to start building their experience. These opportunities, alongside the
skills
Use synonyms
 and technical expertise acquired during studies, are very important to early-career professionals when joining today's competitive and dynamic job market.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, choosing not to chase a higher degree may
also
Linking Words
 bring some benefits to
one
Use synonyms
's professional journey.
Although
Linking Words
 college and university are helpful in supporting the improvement of key
skills
Use synonyms
, these environments could limit
one
Use synonyms
's ability to develop
skills
Use synonyms
 related to more corporate-oriented spaces, which are often acquired through work experience in the field.
For example
Linking Words
, landing a role in a big company early in
one
Use synonyms
's career may give them practical expertise and a set of contacts that would have been challenging to get from a purely academic environment,
thus
Linking Words
 positioning them more strategically in the job market
Conclusion
In conclusion, choosing whether to seek higher education nowadays is definitely an important decision to make, especially for young people. In my opinion, universities and colleges offer relevant opportunities for early-career professionals, in which they can develop key
skills
Use synonyms
 in their field. At the same time, choosing not to join or quit the academic environment might
also
Linking Words
 have its benefits depending on
one
Use synonyms
's professional goals and desired paths.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You discuss both views and give your own view clearly. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why a degree is needed in some jobs, such as medicine or law, and why work may be better in other jobs, such as sales or business.
task response
Your examples are useful, but they are quite general. Add one clear, real-life type of example in each main paragraph. This will make your ideas more direct and easier to believe.
task response
Your final view is clear, but it is a little careful. State more directly that university is the better choice for most people in the current job market, while work first can suit some career paths.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Keep this strong plan.
coherence and cohesion
Most links between ideas work well. However, some sentences are very long. Split them into two shorter sentences so the main point is easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few simple links to show the exact link between ideas, such as “As a result”, “This means that”, and “For this reason”. Do not use too many, but use them when you move from an idea to its result.
coherence and cohesion
In the second main paragraph, make the first sentence state the main point more clearly: work experience can give practical skills that study may not give. Then explain and give the example.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain the value of higher study, the value of work experience, and your own view.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant to career success, especially skills, contacts, and the hard job market.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main focus, and the examples support the point of that paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion match well, and your opinion stays the same throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: