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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that
money
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 is important in our lives.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that encouraging
people
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 to save their
money
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 is pivotal, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that we need to build
this
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 habit in our children.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, some
people
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 believe that building
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 habit of saving
money
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 is essential.
This
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 is because it teaches us how
Correct word order
important money is
show examples
money
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 is important.
In other words
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, when we buy something, we know the value of
this
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 thing, and we appreciate it, so we use it wisely.
For example
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, when someone specialize small a small amount of
money
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 every month, he will spends them carefully in whate he wants.
As a result
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,
people
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 tend to manage
money
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.
Body paragraph 2
Another point to consider, some
people
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 claim that save your
money
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 for the black day. It is possible to say that, when you fall into a problem
such
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 as losing a job or facing a large debt, you require
money
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 to solve
this
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 obstacle.
Moreover
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, it helps individuals control themselves and build other habits.
For instance
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, when you can manage your expenditures and save your
money
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, you experience how to control yourself.
Therefore
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,
money
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 should be saved rather than spent on unnecessary things.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, I believe that nowadays, saving
money
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 is crucial, and we need to teach our children how to manage their
money
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 and direct them to spend
money
Use synonyms
 wisely.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first part. Say that you agree, and explain how far you agree.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and a real example. For example, show how saving a small sum each month can help a young person pay for study or deal with job loss.
task response
Use more exact ideas. Instead of saying saving teaches the value of things, explain that it helps people plan, avoid debt, and deal with hard times.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Make the links between ideas smoother by using simple words such as “First”, “Also”, “For example”, and “As a result”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part. The first main part can focus on wise spending, while the second can focus on help in hard times.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of word form and grammar problems. Write shorter sentences and check key forms, such as “saves”, “spends”, and “save money for a rainy day”.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “money” too often. Use simple other words when possible, such as “savings”, “a small sum”, or “it”.
task response
You give a clear main view that people, especially children, should learn to save.
task response
Your two main ideas are useful: saving can lead to wise spending and can help in hard times.
coherence and cohesion
The essay follows a clear order: introduction, two main parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use examples and result links such as “For example” and “As a result”, which help the reader follow your ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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