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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The picture illustrates the steps and equipment involve in the production of a pencil from stood at and the end of, result in production

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
The picture gives information about the steps and equipment involved in the production and processing of
milk
Use synonyms
 and
dairy
Use synonyms
 products for commercial sale.
Body paragraph 1
It is clear from the
grap
Correct your spelling
graph
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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the process has multiple different stages
starting
Punctuation problem
, starting
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form
Use the right word
from
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 bringing up cows grazing and ending with finishing production and introducing into the consumer market
Body paragraph 2
Initially
Linking Words
, these cows
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 eaten grazing on the grass with a view to
nutrients
Verb problem
maintaining nutrients
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are maintained
Verb problem
apply
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. After eating grazing, the cows will be milked by machine twice a day. A mount of liquid
milk
Use synonyms
 is milked
to be
Change preposition
for
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 refrigerated storage.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
milk
Punctuation problem
, milk
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 tanker
dairy
Use synonyms
is deliveries
Wrong verb form
delivers
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 to
dairy
Use synonyms
 by truck.
Conclusion
This
Linking Words
 step involves delivering to
Use synonyms
dairy
Correct article usage
the dairy
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,
the
Correct word choice
where the
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 liquid
milk
Use synonyms
 is processed on the transmission belt to
be pasteurized
Wrong verb form
pasteurise
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 bacteria and impurities ,
when pasteurizing
Correct word choice
apply
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it can be packaged . Apart from
, not
Correct word choice
that, not
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 only can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
milk
Use synonyms
but it
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 can be ingredients of cheese, creams and butter , depends on the purpose of use. Once the final step has been completed , packaged
ino
Correct your spelling
into
 a complete part, the
milk
Use synonyms
 will be transported and allocated to retail
market
Check wording
markets
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,
such
Linking Words
 as
super- markets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
 and
shop
Check wording
shops
show examples

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task response
Give a clear main view of the whole process. Say that milk moves from cows to a dairy, then to shops, either as milk or as other dairy food.
task response
Cover each main step in the right order: cows eat grass, a machine takes milk, milk is kept cold, a truck takes it to the dairy, it is cleaned with heat, it is put into packs, and it is sent to shops.
task response
Make the last part clearer. Explain that some milk is sold as milk, while some is used to make cheese, cream, and butter.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear parts: an opening, a short main view, then one part for the farm and one part for the dairy and shops.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple order words, such as “First”, “Next”, “After that”, “Then”, and “Finally”. This will help the reader follow the steps.
coherence and cohesion
Do not join too many ideas in one long sentence. For example, write one sentence about the truck, then a new sentence about the dairy.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same words for key things. For example, use “milk”, “dairy”, and “shops” in a clear way, rather than changing the word form too often.
task response
You include most of the key steps, from cows eating grass to milk reaching shops.
task response
You correctly show that the process can make more than one kind of food, such as cheese, cream, and butter.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing has a clear start and follows the general time order of the process.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “Initially”, “Following”, and “Once”, to show the order of events.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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