There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

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Introduction
In recent years, there has been considerable debate about how authorities could restrain
people
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committed crimes. Some
people
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believe the
death
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penalty
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will be the best option,
while
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others believe several measures are needed. In my opinion, before the
death
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sentence is given to criminals, many aspects need to be considered to avoid misjudgment.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the
death
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penalty
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has proved to be an effective way to prevent serious criminality in many countries. Severe punishment are nessesary for extreme criminal
case
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cases
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,
such
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as homicide, drug
dealler
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dealer
, rape, or corruption
,
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;
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all these types of actions are resulting heavy toll
to
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on
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society. With the
death
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penalty
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,
people
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will think twice before doing bad stuff if they know the consequences of their actions are the
death
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penalty
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.
For instance
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, China has implemented
death
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sentences successfully for its public servants who commit corruption.
Consequently
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, the rate of corruption in China decreased significantly.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the
death
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penalty
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violates the human right to life
,
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;
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there will always
a
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be a
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possibility that the authorities give a wrong judgment and end up giving the wrong
penalty
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.
This
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penalty
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is supposed to be the
last
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option. Many other methods are available to prevent criminality from happening.
For example
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, the
death
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penalty
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could
also
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be used by greedy politicians, especialy they who in government, with their strong influence over law
enforcement
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enforcement,
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to threaten their political rivals through the
death
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penalty
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.
As a result
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, many
people
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who do not deserve to get
this
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penalty
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will
ended
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end up
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in the
death
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chamber.
Conclusion
To
summarize
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summarise
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, the
death
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penalty
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might be a good way
preventing
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of preventing
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criminality.
However
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, several steps are necessary to be taken by the
laws
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law
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authorities before they give a
death
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penalty
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to prevent innocent
people
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from
getting
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being punished
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this
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punishment.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why death may stop crime and why other ways may work better.
task response
Your main view is careful use of death. State this more directly in the first part and repeat it in the end: death should be used only in very rare cases after a full and fair check.
task response
Some examples need more support. For China, explain what rule changed and why this led to less crime. Do not make a big claim unless you can show how it is true.
task response
Add other ways to cut serious crime, such as better police work, fair courts, prison, school help, and help for poor families. This will answer the part about other measures more fully.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but give each body part one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. For example: 'On the one hand' for the first view, 'On the other hand' for the second, and 'However' when you show a different point.
coherence and cohesion
Break long sentences into shorter ones. This will make your ideas easier to follow. For example, put the point about a wrong court case in one sentence and the result in the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end more exact. Say what should happen before death is used, such as strong proof, a fair court, and more than one check.
task response
You answer both parts of the question: death as a way to stop crime and the need for other action.
task response
Your point about innocent people is important and fits the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it uses clear paragraph breaks and a short final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The two main body parts show both sides in a clear order.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • ethical considerations
  • economic factors
  • social factors
  • community policing
  • public opinion
  • recidivism rates
  • community-driven initiatives
  • modern policing methods
  • death penalty
  • serious crimes
  • crime rates
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