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Band 5.5

The diagram below shows one way of manufacturing ceramic pots.

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The diagram below shows one way of manufacturing ceramic pots.
The diagram illustrates how manufacturing ceramic
pots
Use synonyms
 on one way,showing the different stages involved in the process.
This
Linking Words
 report aims to summarise the key trends,significant comparisons and notable changes highlighted in the data.
Overall
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,the process consists of
twelf
Correct your spelling
twelve
 main stages,beginning with the raw
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
materials
Use synonyms
 and ending with the finished
pots
Use synonyms
.It is a cyclical process,in which the
materials
Use synonyms
leaves
Correct subject-verb agreement
leave
show examples
 go through several stages before the
materials
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 ready to be
pots
Use synonyms
.
At the first
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stage
Use synonyms
,the raw
materials
Use synonyms
 are extracted from the ground.
Following
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this
Linking Words
,the
materials
Use synonyms
 are transferred to the factory.The
materials
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
then
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cruching
Correct your spelling
crushing
,before being
mixing
Wrong verb form
mixed
show examples
.After that ,the
materials
Use synonyms
 move through a pipe .Once
this
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
 has been completed ,the
materals
Correct your spelling
materials
 are stored in moulds and drying 4-6
houres
Correct your spelling
hours
.The resulting
materals
Check wording
material
show examples
 is
then
Linking Words
 assembled
clay
Change preposition
into clay
show examples
pots
Use synonyms
 and prepared for the next
stage
Use synonyms
. In the following
stage
Use synonyms
 ,the mixture is heated in the oven
1000
Change preposition
at 1000
show examples
 degress celsius .
Subsequently
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,the
materials
Use synonyms
be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 coloured .
Finally
Linking Words
,the
materials
Use synonyms
 move to the colour firing
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the finished
pots
Use synonyms
 are ready to be sold.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pots, materials, stage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing
  • ceramic pots
  • preparation
  • material
  • purifying
  • consistency
  • shaping
  • potter's wheel
  • molded
  • drying
  • baking
  • kiln
  • decorating
  • painting
  • glazing
  • engraving
  • quality check
  • packaging
  • distribution
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