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Writing Samples
Band 1.5

The charts below showThe number of college students who go to sporting events and various sporting events attended by college students.

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Introduction
The pie chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
college
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who participate in sporting
events
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, the table describes the various sporting
events
Use synonyms
 engaged
by
Change preposition
in by
show examples
 male and female
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
college
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
students
Use synonyms
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not prefer going to sporting
events
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, football is the most famous sport among
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, female is more into participating in tennis
Body paragraph 2
The percentage of
college
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to sporting
events
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 is four times higher, accounting
80
Change preposition
for 80
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
college
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
take
Correct pronoun usage
who take
show examples
 part in sporting
events
Use synonyms
just
Verb problem
is just
show examples
 about 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Conclusion
The
number
Use synonyms
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 taking part in football is higher than female. In terms of basketball, the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 are equal. Regarding
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
volleyball and tennis, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 is taller than male.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the data of
male
Check wording
males
show examples
 engaging in badminton is double
the figure
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 of
female
Check wording
females
show examples

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task response
Give the main facts from both charts. State the key number for students who go and do not go to sports events, and compare men and women in every sport.
task response
Add more exact data from the table. Your report says who has higher numbers, but it does not give the figures for football, basketball, volleyball, tennis, and badminton.
task response
Make the overview more complete. Include the main point that most students do not go to sports events, football is highest for men, and tennis is highest for women if the chart shows this.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduce the charts, give an overview, describe the pie chart, then compare the table.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully: "while" for two different facts, "by contrast" for a clear opposite, and "regarding" before a topic. Do not use too many links in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Write complete and clear sentences. For example, use "The number of students who do not go to sporting events is..." instead of "The number of students do not prefer...".
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same form when you compare groups. Write "the number of male students" and "the number of female students" rather than only "male" or "female".
task response
You identify the main difference in the pie chart: far more college students do not go to sporting events.
task response
You make useful comparisons between male and female students for the sports in the table.
coherence and cohesion
The report has an introduction, an overview, and separate parts for the two visuals.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful comparison words, such as "while", "by contrast", and "in contrast".
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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